Lipstick Lesbian

*we lean over the newspaper article together, forks suspended mid bite*

The article is titled "First Date Tips"

Me(reading aloud): Number four, slowly reveal your quirks

-we look at each other knowingly and burst out laughing-

Him(mischievous "meh" face): I prefer to just throw everything at the wall and see what sticks!

The real secret is to draw a moustache on your face in lipstick ala Kate Moss.

Works all the time, 50% of the time.