walking on thin ice

-years ago-

we walk across the lake
the ice is black and angry like smashed marbles
he passes to me and I deeply inhale
the bitter wind scorns my cheeks.
all my sins and all my good deeds melt together
I look down and it has not burnt a hole through the ice
I look down where the baby we lost should be
I look up and
finally
start to imagine where I could go