Epic New York Storm

So I was supposed to be in New York for work right meow

(because I have the greatest job ever ever ever!) 

but the trip got postponed last minute

and New York is in a total state of panic right now

because of this epic snowstorm which is going to be the worst in history

(not even a hyperbole, thats what the meteorologists say)

anyways, my Mom texted me today and was like

"You know, you actually have a guardian angel haha you always narrowly escape disaster"

She is 100% right about that.

...like the time I accidentally rented an apartment in the LA ghetto

(they said there was a park...on google it has a rowboat on it.....they didn't mention is was a crack-park, ok?)

and my landlord turned out to be a big time porn director

and the poet upstairs started leaving creepy poems under my door at 3am

and there were cockroaches

and I almost got abducted by a truck full of scary men 

but I ran and hid behind a house 

or the time in New York when my roommate got antibiotic resistant flesh eating disease

I'm not even making this stuff up you guys haha

so, whatever/whoever keeps saving me.....

This is for you:

(please ignore my adam's apple....meh.)