Girlfriends, Karl Lagerfeld's Cat, And Kate Bialowas
-got the below email this morning-
I don't know if she meant this in the queer way or the "Heeeeey girlfriend!" way or in the "I'm just being edgy" way. I have never used the word "date night" in context to a platonic hangout with a girl..... and I really don't think I am the ONLY femme that noticed this fantastical use of brackets! ....what I am really trying to say is....
Kate Bialowas,
we should be friends!
I'm having visions of us frolicking through fashion weeks together, picking out cute skirts in Soho, sharing fat free soy lattes from hipster coffee bars while discussing what Karl Lagerfeld's cat (Choupette) will do next!
I don't know if she meant this in the queer way or the "Heeeeey girlfriend!" way or in the "I'm just being edgy" way. I have never used the word "date night" in context to a platonic hangout with a girl..... and I really don't think I am the ONLY femme that noticed this fantastical use of brackets! ....what I am really trying to say is....
Kate Bialowas,
we should be friends!
I'm having visions of us frolicking through fashion weeks together, picking out cute skirts in Soho, sharing fat free soy lattes from hipster coffee bars while discussing what Karl Lagerfeld's cat (Choupette) will do next!
Let's do it.
Lesbian T-shirt Project
Disclaimer: I wrote this on a high dosage of nighttime Nyquil. Anything that doesn't make sense I blame on my labradoodle, Bettie. Because she could get away with murder. Have you seen her face!?
So without further delay! (drum roll)
***Shirts that subtly say, "Hey, I'm a lesbian! Come talk to me! Then we will u-haul it, adopt 3 kittens, throw a vegan potluck, and snuggle every morning for ever and ever!"***
(see! I told you!)
So without further delay! (drum roll)
***Shirts that subtly say, "Hey, I'm a lesbian! Come talk to me! Then we will u-haul it, adopt 3 kittens, throw a vegan potluck, and snuggle every morning for ever and ever!"***
Because let's be honest the plaid/undercut/skrillex, short nails, tuque thing isn't working. It's winter. Grunge is in style. I have long long hair and even though I'm missing 1/4th of it (re: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/shaved-my-head-lesbian-haircuts-for.html) I still look really really straight. Sigh.
And sometimes femmes just want to go to a bar and share that moment where you look at someone and go, "Ah nice, you are one of us!"
This happened a lot to me in Montreal. But now, never.
I am *invisible*
I am *invisible*
But, much like the dexterous cuttlefish we will take this challenge and run..errrr swim with it!
And so, the lesbian t-shirt project:
Not so much sapphic subtlety here. But pretty funny.
http://www.zazzle.ca/cover_me_in_chocolate_and_feed_me_to_the_lesbians_tshirt-235958652541865756
You aren't gay. You just love Ellen. And rainbows. Shiny rainbows. That spell the word Ellen. Ok fine you are gay.
How cute is this old dude?! Adorable. I love old people.
Also, Stonewall is a great charity. Check them out.
Ok. This one might not be lesbian per say. But it's hilarious. And if you were wearing it around me I would probably hit on you.
Nothing says "I'M GAY! TALK TO MEEEE!" quite like an Autostraddle shirt. If you don't know what Autostraddle is go RIGHT THIS MINUTE and check it out. But come back after.....cause I love you....and I will miss your face
http://autostraddle.goodsie.com/
http://autostraddle.goodsie.com/
Ha!
This one is pretty funny too.
These underwear aren't really helpful in identifying publicly as a lesbian. But they are super cute.
And if you are getting naked-ish with someone this would put their worries to rest haha
Omg I need antibiotics but don't want to take/go get them.
aGHhhh being stubborn and sick sucks
ciao guys
Types Of Lesbians (stereotypes)
There is confusion in the streets. People want to know. But they don't want to ask.
So here you go. I shall explain some lesbian labels and stereotypes.
Although as Ellen once said, "I don't like labels. The only thing I label is my lunch. I write "lesbian" on it so everyone knows it's mine."
Illustrated with cats.....cause lesbians love cats.....stereotype numero uno haha
Dress quite "masculinely"(Hey! Don't punch my arm! I used quotation marks!)
Don't wear makeup
Often quite sporty
Short hair
I think this is what most people think when they hear the word "lesbian"
(bahaha I f***ing love Bjork)
Femme/incognito:
Suuuuper feminine
Wear makeup
Wear dresses, lace, etc
Like high heels
Generally have long-ish hair
No one believes they are gay
No one suspects they are gay
Men assume they want to have a 3some with them and their gf (WE DON'T!) We might steal your girlfriend though. Watch out. Haha
No really. Watch out
No really. Watch out
....wait a minute that's not a cat.....
Baby Dyke:
A lesbian who just came out of the closet
Still figuring everything out
awww
A lesbian who just came out of the closet
Still figuring everything out
awww
Chapstick lesbian/boi/soft butch:
Sometimes are mistaken for boys
Dress in button up shirts, bow ties, blazers
Short hair
These are of course stereotypes and people are people and are complex. And I have VASTLY simplified the lesbionic world....please don't send me hate mail haha. I do like cookies though. You can send me cookies.
....hipster or lesbian?
Are her glasses prescription?
What does the plaid mean?
Is the vegan thing a hint.....?
....she's looking at me still....
I see your undercut.
I. See. You.
What does the plaid mean?
Is the vegan thing a hint.....?
....she's looking at me still....
I see your undercut.
I. See. You.
Oh baby baby
Guys. It's almost October! What happened????
Here's my list of favourite discoveries/people/things/places of 2014!
Here's my list of favourite discoveries/people/things/places of 2014!
1. The beach/mostly driving to the beach singing gangster rap as loud as humanly possible
2. Blue cheese hamburger patties(omgawd)
3. Montreal (bah! I miss you)
4. Pink pedicures and French manicures
Oh hey, exactly 14 of the best things of 2014. How convenient!
Great year so far.
Btw, I want to know all 13,798 of you guys!
Message me or comment below!
(You can choose the "anonymous" setting if you want to leave a comment super quick).
Ciao
5. Telling everyone I am gaaaaaaayyyyy
6. My leather skirt
I need you I want you oh baby baby.
It was love at first sight.
7. My girlfriend(now ex-girlfriend).
It was amazing.
Now it's over.
Peace, girl.
8. My job.
I design clothes for a living.
And my boss rocks.
I am pretty much the luckiest person ever.
9. Grimes
she rules
she rules
10. Jenna Lyons (because she works in fashion as a CEO and she's awesoooome and gaaaayyyyy)
We have so much in common.
For example, we both have approximately 5 billion pairs of shoes.
11. My red high heels
They really were there for me.
Sadly a month ago they died a tragic sunscreen death.
(a story for another time haha)
12. Seeing my sister get married in Jamaica! woooo/awwwwwww!
13. Writing and having total strangers from around the world telling me they read my blog everyday!(love youuuuuuu!)
14. My oversized sweater with the ridiculous massive pocket. It's the legal way to wear a blanket to work. I mean come on.
Oh hey, exactly 14 of the best things of 2014. How convenient!
Great year so far.
Btw, I want to know all 13,798 of you guys!
Message me or comment below!
(You can choose the "anonymous" setting if you want to leave a comment super quick).
Ciao
Best Gay And Lesbian Movies!
Happy Monday! Here is my sapphic/gay movie list! Enjoy!
1. Blue Is The Warmest Colour
Very very good critically acclaimed Indie Film. I am a sucker for any movie that has an artist/painter in it lol so I obviously was like "Yay!" There is a ton of sex in this movie. You have been warned. The dialogue is well written and the cinematography is thoughtful. Really beautiful film. So good.
2. Orange Is The New Black
Not 100% about being gay...well...ok maybe. This is possibly the best tv-show ever made. I have seen it more times than I will admit.
3. I love You Phillip Morris
OMG hilarious. I love Jim Carrey. Love.
4. L Word
Ok I know it's old now but a lot of it is still relevant. The storyline is fun. And Shane is so so so hot. Ya'all know what I am talking about!
5. Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Good small Indie film. I like the vibe. Very San Fran/Seattle/ Portland riot-girl esque.
6. G.B.F.
Ok, this movie is ridiculous. But sometime if you are like "I want to watch some goofy amusing fluff!" then this is the one to pull out.
7. Boys Don't Cry
Boys don't cry. But you will! (Actually boys do cry. Don't make me get into a heteronormative-paradigm-rant about gender roles). Amaaaaazing movie. Very serious. Won tons of awards.
8. Rent
Awesome awesome awesome musical. Did I mention it's awesome? I think this is where many gay people's obsessions with New york began. I miss Ny....sigh
9. Better Than Chocolate
This movie is soooo cheesy. But good. And it was shot on Commercial Street in Vancouver(I am like 90% sure I recognize where). They have nice houseplants in it too(I know that's random but it's true...their apartment rocks). And it's pretty funny.
10. Milk
About the gay activist Harvey Milk. Good. Yes, you should watch this.
Important for your queer-cation....like eductation.....of gayness....you heard it here first.....
11. Vicky Christina Barcelona
Not 100% gay but there is some gay stuff in it. This is one of my favourite movies ever. I want to marry Penelope Cruz. I can't believe it's even legal for her to be that hot.
12. Chloe
A twisted thriller. Amanda Seyfried is such a good actress. It's well written and I know this is goofy but she has the best hair ever! And check out her bird trench coat(gah!). I design clothes for a living I can't help it.
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13. Broke Back Mountain
Sooooo saaaaaaaad. But good. Won a ton of awards.
14. Black Swan
This movie is aaaammazing. And not just about being gay for all you homophobic folk! Haha just kidding. Homophobic people don't read my blog. Ha!
Anyways, this movie is so well done. Really dark and beautiful.
15. But I'm a Cheerleader
Ahhhhh this movie is soooo funny. She is sent to "straight camp". It's a classic. Very funny. And Nicky Nichols rocks. She is in Orange Is The New Black also.
Ok! So that's it for now! If I hear about/see anything else I will update this.
Kiss-kiss(as they do in Montreal) :)
1. Blue Is The Warmest Colour
Very very good critically acclaimed Indie Film. I am a sucker for any movie that has an artist/painter in it lol so I obviously was like "Yay!" There is a ton of sex in this movie. You have been warned. The dialogue is well written and the cinematography is thoughtful. Really beautiful film. So good.
2. Orange Is The New Black
Not 100% about being gay...well...ok maybe. This is possibly the best tv-show ever made. I have seen it more times than I will admit.
3. I love You Phillip Morris
OMG hilarious. I love Jim Carrey. Love.
4. L Word
Ok I know it's old now but a lot of it is still relevant. The storyline is fun. And Shane is so so so hot. Ya'all know what I am talking about!
5. Itty Bitty Titty Committee
Good small Indie film. I like the vibe. Very San Fran/Seattle/ Portland riot-girl esque.
6. G.B.F.
Ok, this movie is ridiculous. But sometime if you are like "I want to watch some goofy amusing fluff!" then this is the one to pull out.
7. Boys Don't Cry
Boys don't cry. But you will! (Actually boys do cry. Don't make me get into a heteronormative-paradigm-rant about gender roles). Amaaaaazing movie. Very serious. Won tons of awards.
8. Rent
Awesome awesome awesome musical. Did I mention it's awesome? I think this is where many gay people's obsessions with New york began. I miss Ny....sigh
9. Better Than Chocolate
This movie is soooo cheesy. But good. And it was shot on Commercial Street in Vancouver(I am like 90% sure I recognize where). They have nice houseplants in it too(I know that's random but it's true...their apartment rocks). And it's pretty funny.
10. Milk
About the gay activist Harvey Milk. Good. Yes, you should watch this.
Important for your queer-cation....like eductation.....of gayness....you heard it here first.....
11. Vicky Christina Barcelona
Not 100% gay but there is some gay stuff in it. This is one of my favourite movies ever. I want to marry Penelope Cruz. I can't believe it's even legal for her to be that hot.
12. Chloe
A twisted thriller. Amanda Seyfried is such a good actress. It's well written and I know this is goofy but she has the best hair ever! And check out her bird trench coat(gah!). I design clothes for a living I can't help it.
13. Broke Back Mountain
Sooooo saaaaaaaad. But good. Won a ton of awards.
14. Black Swan
This movie is aaaammazing. And not just about being gay for all you homophobic folk! Haha just kidding. Homophobic people don't read my blog. Ha!
Anyways, this movie is so well done. Really dark and beautiful.
15. But I'm a Cheerleader
Ahhhhh this movie is soooo funny. She is sent to "straight camp". It's a classic. Very funny. And Nicky Nichols rocks. She is in Orange Is The New Black also.
Ok! So that's it for now! If I hear about/see anything else I will update this.
Kiss-kiss(as they do in Montreal) :)
For the besssssst lesbian/gay gifts go here!
