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This morning over delicious non-vegan* gasp* brunch (thats's right people we aren't all vegan! aaaamazing!) my most excellent lesbian friend informed me about the 5 lesbian haircuts.
Too good not to share!
P.s. I am not-so-slowly becoming OBSESSED with poached eggs! What sorcery is this!? Bah!

1. The dandy/Beiber
(quiiiiiite dapper!)


ammiright?
http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/

2. Assymetrical long in front
.....or long in back(aka side mullet)

3. One side shaved
4. Both sides shaved with top bun
(this is a fancy swirly one but usually it's like this but just a plain bun)
(p.s. babe alert!)
5. The rooster( I don't know what this is actually called but I keep seeing it on lesbians leading to me believing it is "a lesbian thing")

Disclaimer: Not all of these books are gay. And sadly, neither are all the women on Earth.

So, if you ever wondered, "What does Brandy's bedroom look like??? OoooOOOOoooo"
Now you know haha once you leap over the pile of books by my bed you will find it quite relaxing. Think of it as novice-mid level cardio endurance training. If you make it past the books, you can stay.

So, here is a snapshot of what I have been reading. And yes, I actually am reading 6 books at once. Cause I'm a bad-ass.
Mreow.
And I shall quickly summarize and rate each:

Bossypants by THE Tina Fey: Hillllllarious, kinda memoir-esk

The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy: About open relationships and family structure. VERY VERY interesting. Talks a lot about jealousy and respect and communication. I doooo recommend. Once I'm done you can borrow it.

Not THAT Kind Of Girl by Lena Dunham: Oh Lena. No one does brutal honesty like you. She also wrote the TV show "Girls" which is hilarious and awesome. Great and so funny. Do read.

Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay: Read this while I was in Montreal. Not my favourite book but had some interesting points.....not a fav.

How To Be A Woman by Caitlin Morgan: I only skimmed this in the book store and bought it. Looks SUPER funny though from what I read. Good British humour.

The Art Of Possibilities by Rosamund Stone Zander: Good book. Written by an orchestra maestro. It's mostly about leadership and teamwork. Also about creative thinking and problem solving. I like.

1. Go to good stores. For example: Club Monaco(for classy casual stuff), Banana Republic(work stuff), Urban Outfitters(for cool stuff)


2. Don't buy polyester if you have body odour problems. Actually, just don't buy polyester. Just save up and get the good stuff(silk).


3. When in doubt, copy the window mannequins. Or, just straight up buy the outfit in the window. This is pretty fool-proof. Unless you are shopping at Forever 21 and you are 55 years old.
                              
4. If you are over 16 no one wants to see your belly button. Even if you have the cutest belly button of all-time. I mean, yeah I want to see it. But not like, at work. Mmmm k?

5. If you don't have a lot of money to spend on clothes buy good basics and then accessorize.
6. You will eventually inevitably go through a breakup and stop sleeping, washing your hair, and have heartbreak puffy eye syndrome. Buy a hat. And sunglasses. And Nyquil. You will have crazy-ass nightmares but you will sleep like a bay-bay.


7. Lint roller.
                             

8. Comfort= confident. Overly tight tights make me want to defenestrate myself. Don't do it. Unless you are masochistic. Then go to town.
                             
9. Beige isn't a colour. Yawn fest

10. Just because someone says you should or shouldn't wear something doesn't mean you should listen. Be an individual. You rock that purple mink bouffant-style hat, sir. Hold your head up high. Honey badger don't give a damn.

You guys need to check out this chick.
I love telling people about kick ass queer people/things/places I discover.

So.
Check out Lauren Lowther. I found her on Youtube. Pretty sure she lives in Toronto. Don't know her personally but she has a crazy good voice. Also, from her videos where she talks about being gay she seems like a super chill funny nice person. (I should probably put some commas in that last sentence but I don't feel like it muaaaahaahaa)
So ya, she's a total babe haha
This cover is super rad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XssXjBhN5Ho

Also, if you have been living under a rock (no offence meant, just being a cheeky smart ass! haha)
You have to check out Macklemore, because his lyrics are thoughtful and he's making a HUGE difference to youth. His music is from the heart and deep. Not all of it. Some of it is silly good times.
So basically he's the best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0
And here is some dark, real shit. If you are so inclined.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru-LgSvOCrE

Oh, jeesh I almost forgot
also check out the Documentary "Girl On Girl" about femme lesbians and culture
suuuuuper interesting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRrr94ym6M4

1. When your significant other doesn't text you back for 5 days they are either
a) Dead
b) Don't want to talk to you
c) All of the above

2. When your SO(significant other) says, "I don't care if you kiss other people. Do whatever you want." They DON'T mean it literally.

2. When you dress up for a lesbian event don't wear a dress. Unless you want to die alone. Or you are Brandy and you refuse to change your dress code to fit into a heteronormative paradym reversal.
Confused about what that means?
Me too.
Stick with the dress. You go girl.

3. Ha! There isn't a #3. Gotcha.

4. Waiting exactly three days to call someone back is lame. You like them? Call them. Or give their number to the homeless guy down the street. Doesn't bother me either way. I never answer my phone.
Ask my Mom.

5. When you are sad go to the gym. Still sad? Go more.
6. REALLY sad? Go to the bar.
7. Can't take it anymore, move provinces!
9. Men's razors. They make that sh** properly. None of this pink razor burn nonsense.
#thingsmybrothertaughtme

10. When you give up on love buy a dog(or 9 kittens). Worked for me. I had a girlfriend exactly 7 days after.