ahhhhhhhh
Dear my very very nice dentist,
I'm unreasonably terrified of being here. I know it's a small chip but could you please just sedate me?
Thanks!
I'm unreasonably terrified of being here. I know it's a small chip but could you please just sedate me?
Thanks!
Dear diary
Today I made her laugh so hard water went up her nose
I win.
Grand lettuce theft
Dear lady casually grazing on lettuce in the organic fresh produce section of the health food store,
How many years in prison do you get for grand lettuce theft? Is this your first felony? Did you steal the golden beet last time?
Ciao,
Brandy
How many years in prison do you get for grand lettuce theft? Is this your first felony? Did you steal the golden beet last time?
Ciao,
Brandy
(P.s. I wish you had looked this satisfied)
(Also, I wish you had been wearing a cat sweater like this)
(....there's always tomorrow)
damn nature you scary
Dear Nature,
I love you and all your majestic goodness!!!
Love Brandy!
I'm pretty sure there is literally an ant in my pants.
You are the worst.
Also, I'm never sitting in the grass ever EVER again.
....you know who I am.
I love you and all your majestic goodness!!!
Love Brandy!
-10 minutes later-
Dear Nature,I'm pretty sure there is literally an ant in my pants.
You are the worst.
Also, I'm never sitting in the grass ever EVER again.
....you know who I am.
Dear sir in the pantalones
Dear sir,
I know I was lurking creepily behind you at the dog park. I was trying to tell if I designed your pants...
Sorry/not sorry,
Brandy
I know I was lurking creepily behind you at the dog park. I was trying to tell if I designed your pants...
Sorry/not sorry,
Brandy
Let them eat (gay) cake!
Dear business owners who refuse to serve gay people
or make them cakes for weddings or flowers etc:
Do you not see the potential of this untapped market?
Most gay people don't have kids.
Look at all the disposable income there!
Fools.
If I opened a bakery it would be the gayest bakery in all the land.
I would sell cakes that look like Ellen.
And we would have rainbow bouquets!
And Bettie would be our mascot and would come on all the parade floats!
Love is love.
