50% torture, 50% magic
*he looks at my ring*
Me: It's from my best friend. We met at a party one summer and went swimming in the ocean at night. We were super cold after so we took a platonic bath together....*boom* best friends! haha
Him(laughing): You have the best stories!
Me: It's from my best friend. We met at a party one summer and went swimming in the ocean at night. We were super cold after so we took a platonic bath together....*boom* best friends! haha
Him(laughing): You have the best stories!
.ah.
they are simply the result of meeting the absolute best people
being a confused lost 20 year old was 50% torture and 50% pure magic
I fought the jar but the jar won
#saladjarattack #waaaaa #bandaide #injury #kissitbetter #ishouldntcook
call me
that moment when you are on the phone
with someone you have a crush on
and you start to feel dizzy
and realize you have stopped breathing
bwaaaaaaahahahaha
So I'm on a first date in a crowded bar
with a cute girl
and my ex-girlfriend shows up and sits
right beside us hahahaha
wtfffffffffffff
Junk Inside My Trunk
I am going to throw a party for my friends. And you all must leave my house with a gift from my drawer of things I bought for ex-girlfriends and never gave to them.
It's like a gift exchange.
You give me closure.
I give you a variety of size small clothing and trinkets!
Superbowl Sunday
I suddenly want to play football, please.
