Blog

Dear Nurse at the Women's Health Clinic who noticed me cracking a smile when she turned the screen away from me as she was taking down notes:

-lady gets into elevator with me-

Me(friendly): Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!
Her:...sorry I don't recognize you......
Me: Oh I used to see you in the mornings
Her(condescending): Oh, you have that huge scary white dog
Me(trying not to laugh): She is super chill....you should come over and meet her some day!
Her(snarky): I don't think so.

Here are the four things I wish I had known before coming out:

1. It won't define you. You have many attributes! Humor, artistry, really bad kitchen dancing skills that no one will witness but your dog! Being gay is part of every gay person's life but not their whole being.
2. Not everyone will like it. But for the most part you won't hear from those folks. They will just slowly fade from your life. And you will find yourself with really close friends because you can finally let your guard down.
3. It turns out being gay is actually "a thing" now.....I'm not sure when it became cool.....or maybe now I only hang out with people who think it's cool. But it seems to be the thing to be. WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS BEFORE?! GAH!
4. You will come out of the closet over and over and over and over. Unless I go and shave ALL my hair off. Which personally will never happen. Because me without hair would probably be semi-terrifying. Plus I like being "feminine". And I don't have to revoke that because I date women. I once shaved off 1/4th of it and it didn't help. Point being, no one assumes I am gay. Therefore "coming out" happens at least twice a week. Luckily it gets less and less awkward. Because also, one of the things I wish I had known before coming out is that you get tougher.

*we are both single*

-I check out his Buddha collection. He picks up my right hand and looks at my ring-

Me: Do you wear any rings?
Him(joking): Only my wedding ring. She doesn't mind if I make out with other women though.
Me(laughing): Haha oh ya? That's...very progressive of her!
Him(laughing): I'm so weird.

-hanging out with some friends-

Him: I like your hair
Me: Thanks!
Him: Why don't you dye it brown?
Me: Why?
Him: Just for a change
Me: I don't know...I like it blonde
Him: Have you ever had it dark before?
Me: Ya, when I was modelling
-he takes a sip of beer-
Me(shrugging): One day I'll be pregnant and I'll stop dying it because of the chemicals.