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this girl

*texting her*

Me(sing song flirting): Ihavesummmmthinggggggggforwooooo
Her: Summmmthingggformeeeeeee? Your lips?

maaaaaaaybeeee

*hanging out with my lesbian friend*

Me: Sorry my kitchen is a bit messy
Her: That's ok. What happened?
Me: My sink is broken. I know how to fix it though....I'm actually really good at plumbing.....
Her: You are so gay.

Stand back.

Hot Vs. Crazy

Me(sigh): She's SO hot.....and...kinda crazy haha
Him(making graph-like gestures in the air): It's the hot vs crazy parameters! Generally the hotter someone is, the more likely they are to be nuts!
-I laugh-
Him: It's true!

I think everyone is kind of crazy.

You just have to find someone the same kind of crazy as you haha...
Happy Easter guys!

Let them eat (gay) cake!

Dear business owners who refuse to serve gay people

or make them cakes for weddings or flowers etc:

Do you not see the potential of this untapped market?

Most gay people don't have kids.

Look at all the disposable income there!

Fools.

If I opened a bakery it would be the gayest bakery in all the land.

I would sell cakes that look like Ellen.

And we would have rainbow bouquets!

And Bettie would be our mascot and would come on all the parade floats!

Love is love.

Poppin' bottles with models

*texting my photographer best friend

Me: Hey, can we get married and I'll be your hot lesbian homemaker?
Him: Hahahahahahaha you'd get jealous of all the models I'd be bringing home
Me: You would bring models home for me! I think I love you.

Jenna Lyons: my lesbian hero

Why?

Oh, let me tell you.

1. She isn't afraid to bend the gender binary

2. She's gay, the CEO of J.Crew, hardworking, and independent

Like a boss.

3. She has bold taste

"Oh hey, I'm just hanging out on the sidewalk in this feather skirt. No big deal."

Marry me?

4. Did I mention she's a lesbian and works in the fashion industry?! AND wears heels?!

Sorry, it's just like seeing a unicorn or something.

5. She's wasn't afraid to come out of the closet and acknowledge her partner at the Glamour Awards. And she's not afraid to come out of the closet wearing a blazer and no top.....

Which, let's be honest, is totally fine because she's a total babely babe.

6. She owns how she looks physically and talks in interviews about how she wasn't always confident being super tall and she has some tooth health concerns but ya know what? She will tell you all about it. Because she doesn't care! She's awesome. She's just like, "This is who I am!"

You go girl.

6. She loves sequins. I love sequins. This feels like the beginning of a beautiful thing.

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