bench press your dog
bench press your dog.
run hard.
bike hard.
sweat hard.
love hard.
stop to smell the flowers
.......
eat healthy.
hug your friends.
hug your friends.
do it your way
It's REALLY me!!! aka getting wrongly arrested for fake ID
.....oh hey there!
New years resolution to lose 35 pounds? DON'T DO IT! Here's why:
-three days after I bought my first home (awwwww!!!!)
*sirens*
Policeman: License and registration please.
-I dig through my chaotic glove compartment, mortgage papers fly out, lip-balm, glasses, broken pens, an apple, three almost empty bags of almonds, a diary with sketches, 2 bottles of pink nail polish, and a screw driver-
Policeman: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: I have no idea (I honestly have no idea)
Policeman: You can't make a left turn here after 5pm
-he looks at my ID-and then me-and then my ID- and then me-
Policeman(sternly): Stay here.
-he walks to his police car and appears to be typing things into his dashboard-
-he comes back and is staring at me intensely and says nothing-
(I'm starting to feel really awkward)
Policeman: What is your dog's name?
Me: .....Bettie....(*in my head* WTF IS GOING ON?! I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!)
Policeman(angry): This ID looks nothing like you. Birthday?
-I tell him-
-he looks at me and then the ID and then me and then the ID and then me and then the ID-
Me(suddenly realizing what is going on): Ohhhhh!!! I've lost like 35 pounds! And my hair has changed! I didn't have bangs back then.......
Policeman: What is your address?
-I tell him the address of the apartment I just bought-
Policeman: That doesn't match your license
-he looks like he wants to punch a kitten-
Me: oooOOOOoooohhhh ya, I just moved. So that' my OLD address! I just bought an apartment!
-I look at my steering wheel and wonder who will feed my dog when I'm in jail-
-he looks at me and then the ID and then me and then the ID and then me and then the ID-
-he doesn't believe me goes back to his cop car-
The moral of this story:
Do not lose weight.
Do not change your hair.
You will get arrested for ID theft even though it really is you in the photo.
#truestory
Sweaty Winter Habits
Every winter I get suuuuper into working out. It's really strange....maybe it has something to do with exercise endorphins replacing sunshine/vitaminD....who knows, not sure why.
Last year I even got biceps! It was pretty rad haha I was like, "Whaaa where did those come from?!!!?" One winter I even wanted to become a personal trainer. And another time I started training for the WBFF(same year I had biceps lol) Best part of the gym tonight was that I was alone so I was singing Pharrel Williams SUPER LOUD with my headphones in. Honey badger don't give a damn! Muahaaaaa
Last year I even got biceps! It was pretty rad haha I was like, "Whaaa where did those come from?!!!?" One winter I even wanted to become a personal trainer. And another time I started training for the WBFF(same year I had biceps lol) Best part of the gym tonight was that I was alone so I was singing Pharrel Williams SUPER LOUD with my headphones in. Honey badger don't give a damn! Muahaaaaa
Anyways, it's begun:)
Everytime I get back into going to the gym I'm like, "Wow! I feel AMAZING! Sweating rocks!" Haha
Here's a little Pharrel for ya. I suggest moon-walking.
Hmmm yup, definitely moon walking!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfGMj10wOzg
Here's a little Pharrel for ya. I suggest moon-walking.
Hmmm yup, definitely moon walking!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfGMj10wOzg
I work out!
Went to the gym today!
Can't lie, feeling pretty proud.
This should earn me bragging rights for at least 2 days.
Happiness
It's true what they say about sunshine and exercise making you happy and releasing endorphins. Also French bras. And high heels. They always forget to mention those.
Back in the gym
early morning
walking home from the gym
sun on eyelids
cardio-enduced-endorphiney-insides
sweaty bangs
pink earphones
cute men in suits smiling at me
dancing around the kitchen
listening to Grimes
munching a lettuce leaf
taking back my happiness
walking home from the gym
sun on eyelids
cardio-enduced-endorphiney-insides
sweaty bangs
pink earphones
cute men in suits smiling at me
dancing around the kitchen
listening to Grimes
munching a lettuce leaf
taking back my happiness
