Her soft brown hair spreads across the blanket.
We look into each other's faces in the pitch black.
"Do you still love her?" she asks
"Ya. I love her and I kind of hate her." I say
I would have let her cat eat my leather skirt.
So, I've pretty much exhausted every avenue trying to get my ex-girlfriend to get back together with me.
These include:
1. Crying on a sidewalk in Montreal
I may have been at a house party.
I may have had some watermelon sangria.
I may have made 3 bad choices altogether this night.
2. Writing her a really bad poem. The worst.
What is wrong with me?!
Anyways, it was cathartic and she probably thinks I'm a lunatic now. High-five self.
3. Actually there isn't a #3
But I am left with the present I got her in Montreal which sadly is too specific to give to anyone else. Plus, if I give it to someone I will have to see it. And then I will want to claw my eyes out. Also it's tiny. Because she was small and I don't even know anyone else that small.
Fawk.
Via Text
Him: I see you found Juliet Et Chocolate
Me: haha omgaaaaaawwwwwddds
I've died and I am in heaven
Him::D It's pretty much orgasm inducing in there
Everything is dangerously good
Me:Oh man
Oh man
I love Montreal
This city.
Him::D :D :D
Me: I might have to stay forever and date liberal gorgeous French women and eat the best food of my life
Him: I don't know if there is an emoticon for a raised eyebrow with a knowingly approving smirk, but if there was, I'd be using it right now
Me: hahahaha
Because eating chocolate is better than lying stretched out on the back of your friends couch in morose-cat-pose surrounded in kleenex because of recent breakup.
1. Crying
2. Anger
3. Drinking
4. Breaking sh**
5. Chocolate
6. Hating yourself
7. Getting back together with your ex
8. Hating yourself more than step 6
9. Singing "Untouchable face" by Ani DiFranco at an unreasonable decibel
10.Acceptance and realizing you are a whole person all by yourself.
TINDER:
She punches me in the arm. Kinda hard. It hurts but she follows it up with, "Shut up! You are so cute. You make me nervous." And then she giggles. We both cheshire cat smile. Cobbles underneath our feet. I was teasing her about something-hence the punch-but I can't remember what now....she has nice hair. I'm distracted. Old staircases hang off the heritage buildings. "Want a sip of my beer?"She raises her eyebrows. Eyebrows. We talk about eyebrows. Bits of the night fly back into my memory. Yes, she has man eyebrows she says. We laugh. We laugh and laugh and laugh. This is good. More of this please.
Instant rewind 4 years:
PLENTY OF FISH:
He opens the door. 35 pairs of sneakers in boxes arranged by his front door. He says he is a nurse. Riiiiight. You aren't fooling anyone buddy, but ok. We sit on his couch. I have known him for about 30 minutes.
Him: "Do you have any piercings?"
Me: "Ears, you?"
He pulls out his Netherlands from his pants to show me it is pierced.
Me: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
I leave.
Who does that on a first date?! WHO?! Gross.
.PNG)
