getting arrested
Me: She's a cop
My Dad: You should tell her the story about how you almost got arrested for using fake ID when it actually was yours!
Me: Haha! Totally! That was hilarious!
My Dad(teasing): ...they should arrest you for BEING YOU!
My Dad: You should tell her the story about how you almost got arrested for using fake ID when it actually was yours!
Me: Haha! Totally! That was hilarious!
My Dad(teasing): ...they should arrest you for BEING YOU!
Just one
"I'm only having one drink!"
Said no one at an awesome Gay Pride dance party.
Ever.
The femme struggle
*at Pride dance party*
-yelling over loud dance music to my lesbian friend-
Her: Is that seriously the gayest thing you could wear?
Me: I'm wearing shorts at a bar! I tried my best!
Her: Your hoodie is bright pink!
-yelling over loud dance music to my lesbian friend-
Her: Is that seriously the gayest thing you could wear?
Me: I'm wearing shorts at a bar! I tried my best!
Her: Your hoodie is bright pink!
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK SEASON 3!!!!!!
you guys,
I have caught OITNB couch fever
Symptoms include laying in the same spot for 6 hours
Talking about OITNB more than 4 times per day
And watching the entire season in less than 2 days
she's awesome like, whoa
Her: I don't know any sushi places
Me: I know a good place. Like the back of my hand. I'm like Kung Foo Panda haha
Her: Haha are you going to kick my butt too?!
Me: Waaaaaa no I am like peace panda. Unless you are like into that haha....but still I would be like, "Ummmm.....babe no."
Her: No, definitely not my thing lol
Me: Haha mine either
Her: So wait, you're hilarious, gorgeous, think cardiovascular health is important and you don't like kicking people's butts? How are you single?
Me: Hahaha I've been waiting for you! Hurry up!
Her: Working on it haha
Me: I know a good place. Like the back of my hand. I'm like Kung Foo Panda haha
Her: Haha are you going to kick my butt too?!
Me: Waaaaaa no I am like peace panda. Unless you are like into that haha....but still I would be like, "Ummmm.....babe no."
Her: No, definitely not my thing lol
Me: Haha mine either
Her: So wait, you're hilarious, gorgeous, think cardiovascular health is important and you don't like kicking people's butts? How are you single?
Me: Hahaha I've been waiting for you! Hurry up!
Her: Working on it haha
Lesbian Oil Wrestling
Him: Happy birthday!!!
Me: Thanks!! Off to watch mostly naked lesbians wrestle in oil!
Him: That sounds scary!
Me: Haha apparently it is!
Him: Have fun! I wish I could come!
Me: I wish I could clone myself so I could watch it twice!
