Don we now our gay apparel falala lalala lalala
-texting in bed-
Me:
Hitting the gay
gay
haaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy
omg phone
Her: You're so gay
Me:
You probably think this song is about you
You're so gaaaaaAAAYyyyyyyyyy
Her:
Ba ha ha
You're so gay you probably think this song is about you don't you
"Don we now our gay apparel falala lalala lalala"
Anything once, maybe even twice.
Me: That sounds fun!
Her: It is!
Me: I will try anything once! Maybe even twice
Her(laughing): Ya?
Me: Sometimes even a third time. Unless it causes bodily harm.....but even then it kind of depends how fun it was.
Her: It is!
Me: I will try anything once! Maybe even twice
Her(laughing): Ya?
Me: Sometimes even a third time. Unless it causes bodily harm.....but even then it kind of depends how fun it was.
You had me at scissor cookies
-2 femme lesbians texting-
Me: YES!
Her: Omg we could get truck cookie cutters and make u-hauls! And scissors. And cats. And plaid. Am I missing a stereotype?!?!
Tinder & shirtless men in bow ties
-she stares into her phone-
Her(distraught): Emo hair.
-she swipes no-
Her(looks grossed out): Hate fishing.
-she swipes no-
Her(WTF face): Onsie?!
-she swipes no-
Her(furrowed brow): Abs.
-she swipes no-
Me: You don't like abs?!
Her: Ew, no.
-then suddenly her finger hesitates over the swipe button-
Her: Bow tie, no shirt!
-she swipes yes-
Men, I just gave you all the secret to hetero Tinder success.
You're welcome.
The Plus Side
There is a plus side to everything in life.
For example, I burnt the crap out of my omelette this morning. But the air in my apartment looks smokey and badass like a Vampire Weekend music video.
If I had a cat
If I had a cat I would never wear pants
I would just walk around like this:
