Gaynight!
-via text-
Me: I'm off to bed
Her: Night!
Me: Gay night!
Her: Hahaha!
Me: Ah! Silly auto correct! I meant goodnight!
Me: I'm off to bed
Her: Night!
Me: Gay night!
Her: Hahaha!
Me: Ah! Silly auto correct! I meant goodnight!
my phone is overly fluent in lesbian
modes of seduction
-drinks with my buddy-
Me: I have 2 modes of seduction, smooth and nerdy
*I give him weird sexy eyes*
Him: Brandy, I have never seen you be smooth
Me: Hey!
*I punch his arm*
Me: Hahaha by smooth I obviously meant awkward and cute
Him: Hahaha pretty much! I'm the same.
Me: I have 2 modes of seduction, smooth and nerdy
*I give him weird sexy eyes*
Him: Brandy, I have never seen you be smooth
Me: Hey!
*I punch his arm*
Me: Hahaha by smooth I obviously meant awkward and cute
Him: Hahaha pretty much! I'm the same.
you have game
-she looks under the table-
Her: I can't find the missing pieces
-I peer across the wine glasses and pecans and under my left elbow-
Me: Oh! I have the game!
-I hold up a bag of orange pieces-
Her(smiling): Ya you have game.
-we both laugh-
Her: I can't find the missing pieces
-I peer across the wine glasses and pecans and under my left elbow-
Me: Oh! I have the game!
-I hold up a bag of orange pieces-
Her(smiling): Ya you have game.
-we both laugh-
Total babe
-2 lesbians texting-
Her: You should get your hair done where I go. So many babes work there.
Me: Lesbians use the word "babe" more than any other people I have ever met lol. I think we have claimed the word.
Her: Babe show
Me: Haha
Her: Babe city
Me: Total babe
Her: Babely
Her: You should get your hair done where I go. So many babes work there.
Me: Lesbians use the word "babe" more than any other people I have ever met lol. I think we have claimed the word.
Her: Babe show
Me: Haha
Her: Babe city
Me: Total babe
Her: Babely
Babe.
Booty
-On the phone-
My Mom: Did you get Bettie dog shoes?
My Mom: Did you get Bettie dog shoes?
Me: Ya, they suck though. Keep falling off while we are walking
-I hear my Mom typing on a keyboard-
My Mom: Whoah
Me: What?
My Mom: I googled "Booty" and didn't get shoes!
Haha. Oh man.
Lesbian At Airport Security
-at airport security-
Customs officer: Do you have anything to declare?
-I cover my eyes with one hand and unzip a large suitcase with the other-
THOUSANDS OF HAPPY MEOWING CATS
POUR OUT OF MY BAG ONTO THE AIRPORT FLOOR
*I wake up*
