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Tchaikovsky you rascal you

My first ever girlfriend and I would listen to Tchaikovsky together.
At the time I didn't get it. At all.
I would look at her with her eyes closed and know she was some place special. I would close my eyes also but to take a nap. No loss to me as napping is one of my favourite hobbies because I am secretly an old man haha
She and I were always on different pages, yet bound in the same book. Mere chapters from each other. She would cut and perm her own hair. It was wild.
We ended like Tchaikovsky's last symphony- we sadly slowing petered out....
Too much friendship for love. Too much love for friendship.
Also, did you know Tchaikovsky was gay? He was. In a time when it wasn't ok to be gay.

meet the parents

Me: Soooo it's not a u-haul buuuuuut on our fourth date you get to meet my entire family. We are sooooo gay haha!
Her: Hahaha so gay.
Me: Thanks for booking the flights babe. I can't wait to see you again
Her: I figured most lesbians take trips together on thier fourth or fifth date haha

what's cooking

Her: What's your baking specialty?
Me: I like making cookies
Her: That's weird I like eating cookies...haha
Me: That's convenient! ....maybe we should date
Her: Probably should, it only makes sense

she's awesome like, whoa

Her: I don't know any sushi places
Me: I know a good place. Like the back of my hand. I'm like Kung Foo Panda haha
Her: Haha are you going to kick my butt too?!
Me: Waaaaaa no I am like peace panda. Unless you are like into that haha....but still I would be like, "Ummmm.....babe no."
Her: No, definitely not my thing lol
Me: Haha mine either
Her: So wait, you're hilarious, gorgeous, think cardiovascular health is important and you don't like kicking people's butts? How are you single?
Me: Hahaha  I've been waiting for you! Hurry up!
Her: Working on it haha

8 types of lesbians you will meet on Tinder

1. Every girl you have ever dated! Yes! The gay world is really. that. small.
                             
2. Super butch/ has a photo of her holding up some kind of dead animal/fish that she just killed. She has two kinds of shoes: Birkenstocks and combat boots.
                               

3. Poly girl who has a boyfriend but is "totally queer"
.....erm. 
4. The "bisexual" attention seeker. She's never going to date you. Begin singing, "Let it go" now.

5. Women who don't speak english and are visiting from somewhere exotic. So enticing. Yet eerie. Do they really exist? Or are they a creepy guy with a comb-over who lives in a basement?

".....what? What!? These shoes totally fit!"
6. Bored straight women who changed their settings for fun while going to the bathroom.

the gateway drug of all gayness 
dun 
dun dun.
7. The fake profile of someone checking to see if their SO(significant other) is cheating. 
If you have to check, you probably shouldn't be dating them.
8. And lastly, "The One". AwwwwwWWWWWWWwwwww.
amiright?
I mean.....they have to be somewhere!

#bornperfect

Her: My parents sent me to " gay conversion therapy" to "fix" me when I was like 10
Me: Oh? And how did that go?
Her: ....well.....I'm your girlfriend
*we both laugh*