Lesbian Problems
In a bar I have never been to before.
In a city I have never been to before.
I sit down at a table with my best friend and some buddies.
A woman comes and sits beside me.
We start to chat:
Her: Wait....your name is Brandy?
Me: Yes
Her: And you aren't from here?
Me:Yes.....
Her: You dated my sister.
True story.
In a city I have never been to before.
I sit down at a table with my best friend and some buddies.
A woman comes and sits beside me.
We start to chat:
Her: Wait....your name is Brandy?
Me: Yes
Her: And you aren't from here?
Me:Yes.....
Her: You dated my sister.
True story.
French Kiss
I run into his arms like a drunk puppy.
"Imsoooooohappppyyyyyyyyyy!! She's amazing!!!!" I exclaim upon impact into his chest.
"She was like, 'So, was this your first Montreal kiss?' And I said, "Yes!"
And then we smiled.
I smiled so big.
So real.
Rainbow Kitty Prevails! Nevrrrrrr gonna keep me down
Via Text
Him: I see you found Juliet Et Chocolate
Me: haha omgaaaaaawwwwwddds
I've died and I am in heaven
Him::D It's pretty much orgasm inducing in there
Everything is dangerously good
Me:Oh man
Oh man
I love Montreal
This city.
Him::D :D :D
Me: I might have to stay forever and date liberal gorgeous French women and eat the best food of my life
Him: I don't know if there is an emoticon for a raised eyebrow with a knowingly approving smirk, but if there was, I'd be using it right now
Me: hahahaha
Because eating chocolate is better than lying stretched out on the back of your friends couch in morose-cat-pose surrounded in kleenex because of recent breakup.
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Him: I see you found Juliet Et Chocolate
Me: haha omgaaaaaawwwwwddds
I've died and I am in heaven
Him::D It's pretty much orgasm inducing in there
Everything is dangerously good
Me:Oh man
Oh man
I love Montreal
This city.
Him::D :D :D
Me: I might have to stay forever and date liberal gorgeous French women and eat the best food of my life
Him: I don't know if there is an emoticon for a raised eyebrow with a knowingly approving smirk, but if there was, I'd be using it right now
Me: hahahaha
Because eating chocolate is better than lying stretched out on the back of your friends couch in morose-cat-pose surrounded in kleenex because of recent breakup.
Why I Love Montreal And French People
Via text:
Her: How's your trip going?
Me: Love this city!!
Her: Glad you are enjoying it!!!:D
Me: Sooooo great!!!!!
Her: I'm happy for u:)
Me: French people are amazing! So nice! So passionate! So liberal! So fashionable!
Stages Of Lesbian Breakups
1. Crying
2. Anger
3. Drinking
4. Breaking sh**
5. Chocolate
6. Hating yourself
7. Getting back together with your ex
8. Hating yourself more than step 6
9. Singing "Untouchable face" by Ani DiFranco at an unreasonable decibel
10.Acceptance and realizing you are a whole person all by yourself.
2. Anger
3. Drinking
4. Breaking sh**
5. Chocolate
6. Hating yourself
7. Getting back together with your ex
8. Hating yourself more than step 6
9. Singing "Untouchable face" by Ani DiFranco at an unreasonable decibel
10.Acceptance and realizing you are a whole person all by yourself.
Losing My Montreal Poutine Virginity
Her: The secret to poutine is the sauce. Too much sauce and the fries get soggy. Also, the cheese. The cheese is very important. It must be heated but not too much and it should be a bit crunchy on the outside.
She gracefully swirls some cheese and pulled pork on her fork.
Her: When I make poutine I buy all the ingredients from different shops. A special kind of curd cheese. The meat. The fries from a specialty place.
I sip my red wine.
Her sweater and necklace glimmer in the light.
Me: So, the best poutine in Montreal is at your house.
I smile.
She laughs.
Her: Yes.
She gracefully swirls some cheese and pulled pork on her fork.
Her: When I make poutine I buy all the ingredients from different shops. A special kind of curd cheese. The meat. The fries from a specialty place.
I sip my red wine.
Her sweater and necklace glimmer in the light.
Me: So, the best poutine in Montreal is at your house.
I smile.
She laughs.
Her: Yes.
