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Sleepover

-slow snowflakes fall from the sky-

-my cheeks hurt from laughing so much-

Her: You haven't seen bridesmaids?!? That's a deal breaker for me (joking, not joking)

-her dog chases my dog through the open field-

Me: Haha! Ya I've seen it.... (smiling) if you ever sleep over I'm going to turn to you in the morning and be like, "Soooo, I don't know how to say this... but I kinda want you to leave"

Her: Ahahahahaha! That would be hilarious!

-lady gets into elevator with me-

Me(friendly): Hey! I haven't seen you in a while!
Her:...sorry I don't recognize you......
Me: Oh I used to see you in the mornings
Her(condescending): Oh, you have that huge scary white dog
Me(trying not to laugh): She is super chill....you should come over and meet her some day!
Her(snarky): I don't think so.

Yaaaassssss. Born killer.

Might snuggle you to death.