Blog

Lesbian Problems

In a bar I have never been to before.
In a city I have never been to before.

I sit down at a table with my best friend and some buddies.
A woman comes and sits beside me.
We start to chat:

Her: Wait....your name is Brandy?
Me: Yes
Her: And you aren't from here?
Me:Yes.....
Her: You dated my sister.

True story.

Stages Of Lesbian Breakups

1. Crying
2. Anger
3. Drinking
4. Breaking sh**
5. Chocolate
6. Hating yourself
7. Getting back together with your ex
8. Hating yourself more than step 6
9. Singing "Untouchable face" by Ani DiFranco at an unreasonable decibel
10.Acceptance and realizing you are a whole person all by yourself.

Lesbian Guide To Montreal

Hey guys!

On my recent trip to Montreal (wooooyeahbaby!) I attempted to find all the best lesbian hang out spots using online guides. Sadly, about 50% of the places on each queer guide I found no longer existed.
So, because I love you with all of my big squishy lesbie heart I built you a new one!
Some of these places might not seem gay. "Why are they on this list?" you might ask. Well my friends, because this is the GAYEST CITY EVER. EVER. No, seriously. Even straight women in Montreal.... there are some shades of rainbow kickin around there.

So go, run to this blissful lesbian paradise and find the girl of your dreams! Use my guide. Also, get lost lots! Meet strangers! Get a lesbian haircut(http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/shaved-my-head-lesbian-haircuts-for.html)! Eat the best chocolate of your life! Dance until 3am!
I made so many new friends- the most genuine and beautiful people inside and out.
There is something magical about this city. You won't go home the same.

L'Gros Luxe: I LOVE THIS PLACE! I had the most delicious grilled cheese sandwich of my entire f***ing life. There are no words. Jut insanely good. They have delicious drinks and everyone who works there is super hot. Just sayin. Easy on the eyes.
http://www.lgrosluxe.com/#about

Bar Le Cocktail: We went here for Karaoke and it was super fun. It's located in the "Gaybourhood" aka the Gay Village. They had a drag show on when we arrived. Their selection of songs for karaoke is very extensive. Good times. Lot's of cute lesbians everywhere in this place.
http://www.barlecocktail.com/

Boutique Delano Design (Clothing Store): The staff here are super nice! They carry incredible brands. They are stylists and will dress you up. Love love love this shop. Also, it is located in the Old Port which is SO beautiful. You must go.
My blog about shopping there: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/the-parisian-way-following-love.html
The store website is http://boutiquedelanodesign.com/

Alexandra Platz: This place is in a garage. They have 2 huge walls that open up and a cool bar. This is where I met the cute girl selling tacos. The drinks are good and everyone sits on these benches. Pretty chill place. I recommend checking it out.
My blog about Alexandra Platz and also about Montreal Fashion Week: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/montreal-fashion-week-and-crushing-on_24.html
Here is the restaurant website: http://www.alexandraplatzbar.com/

Boutique 1861: This place is a fem-lesbian dream shopping experience. SO MANY SPARKLES OMGGAWWWWDDDD. I want everything in here. Fantastic dresses. So girly. So fantastic. Love love love this clothing store.
http://1861.ca/

Bar Waverly: They have loud music and it's a cool place to go maybe on a first date if you want to have to get really close to each other to hear each other speak. Nothing breaks the ice on a first date like having the other person's hair stuck to your lip gloss while you make small talk.
http://barwaverly.com/

Casa Del Popolo: AMAZING LIVE MUSIC! They have awesome furniture and this place is super chill. All kinds of people were at this place. They have insanely cheap drinks and good food. The cover is by donation which is kind of nice. And really, the bands are fantastic. I saw this kick-ass local band called Mehdi Cayenne Club. I wouldn't be surprised if they are super famous one day. If you are in town look them up and try to find a show.
http://casadelpopolo.com/

Le Cagibi: They play rap music and the atmosphere is funky. Good coffee. Good breakfast food. Mile End is a great area to hang out with in general if you are queer. The staff are tattooed and super bad-ass. My blog about this place http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/lesbian-hit-list.html
The restaurant website is http://www.lecagibi.ca/

Mme Lee: Today I learned that Mme stands for "Madam"in French. It was a nice, trendy, classy place. Good food and drinks. I would go again.
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bar-Mme-Lee/281506475211476

Climb up Mount Royal: You will sweat, but it will feel good! Beautiful views and nice to get fresh air. Lots of people at the top had puppies too! I said hi to all of them. You should too.

gawwww! pupppppppyyyyysssssssssss!!!!!

Big In Japan: Beautiful interior! Good drinks! Pricey but worth a trip to check it out for sure! The man at the door wears a bow-tie. I mean, how can you go wrong?!
http://www.yelp.ca/biz/big-in-japan-bar-montr%C3%A9al

Suwu: This place is great and it's located on St. Laurent which is a beautiful street to explore. We got poutine and it was so incredibly tasty.
My blog about eating poutine: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/08/losing-my-montreal-poutine-virginity.html
The restaurant website is http://rsvpmedia.com/blog/suwu-neighborhood-bar/

yumyumyumyumyumyumyum

La Distillerie: They have all sorts of delicious drinks in canning jars. It's super chill and the drinks are tasty. They have a list of funny rules on the wall like, "Introduce Yourself To Your Neighbour".

http://www.pubdistillerie.com/v2/index.php

Juiette Et Chocolat: I died and went to heaven. Their chocolate salad blew my mind. Just wow.
My blog about eating there: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/09/rainbow-kitty-prevails-nevrrrrrr-gonna.html
The restaurant website is http://www.julietteetchocolat.com/

So, there you are! All my favourite places! I can't wait to visit again. What a great city.

I love you Montreal.

Brandy

Check out my unique, funny, LGBTQ greeting cards and cups here!

https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/brandymarsdesigns

Gaydar

Last night was ridiculous.

I started with a few friends at a river-side bar, then a massive electronic concert downtown, and ended up in a bar with sand. Who has sand in a bar???? WHO???
I officially have a group of girly-girls to go dancing with!! And it's possibly the best thing ever.
I love dancing.
ALSO!
Someone(female) actually figured out I am gay without me telling them. Yes, that's right! Isn't that crazy?! She said she just "knew". I was wearing 3 inch heels and a dress. Crazy. Crazy. We know our own kind I guess lol. She has keen "gaydar."
The electronic music was amazing last night. So hot. You could hear it from reaaaaally far away.

What It's Like Being A Lesbian In A Dress

Hey guys! Your gay ambassador here!

Lately I have been hearing a lot about fem-invisibility. Basically lesbians who don't "look like" lesbians and are tired of not being acknowledged as queer and are getting no action.
I hear your cries. Don't defenestrate yourself! We are going to figure this out together!
It's true people- some of us like pedicures and making out with girls. It's a real thing.
How do we solve this problem? Not acknowledging fem's just strengthens these stereotypes. We shouldn't have to shave our heads, head to Brooks brothers for button-up shirts, and stop wearing mascara. I like mascara, darn it!
In a way though, I am like Clark Kent. Heterosexual on the outside. Lady lover insides. I can go freely about without being hassled. No one see's me buying mangoes and thinks, "Sodomite! She must have a girlfriend!" And not being able to buy mangoes peacefully would be soooo sad because mangoes are one of my favourite things in the entire universe. I would solely eat mangoes if I could. In fact recently I accidentally did this out of passion for the delicious fruit of wonder and then one day I was driving home from the dog park and started craving protein sooooooo badly. I was like Gollum and I swear if there had been a salmon in front of me I would have clubbed it on the head and eaten it right then and there.....it was my inner Kraken
myyyypreciousssssssssssessssssss
....anyways!
Then we get to fem lessie dating. I can tell you first hand that a lot of people thought I was not gay when I was with my first girlfriend 3ish years ago. I have long hair. I listen to girly pop/hip-hop/fluffy rock music a lot. I drive a cute red car. I love wine. I have a fufffy white dog named after Bettie Page. Half my clothes are pink... shall I go on? You get the picture.
I'm super curious to hear what you guys think of fem invisibility as it is something I have been musing on for the past couple days. What do we do to make it more acceptable for women to keep their "femininity" and to be taken seriously as a queer lady? I use quotes there because also, you don't have to wear pink to be "feminine".
I haven't experienced this yet but I have also heard about lesbian women not accepting fem's into their social circle simply because they are fem's and don't seem "gay" enough. Personally, if that's someone entire basis of deciding if they want to be my friend then I'm down with passing on their friendship anyways. People are people. Hang out with people who rock your world! And share your mangoes with them. And don't club fish on the head.
Amen.

Check out my unique, funny, LGBTQ greeting cards here:

https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/brandymarsdesigns

Eating Dog Food, Buying Roses For My GF, And Secret Admirers

Lady at the pet food store: "Hopefully your dog likes this kind and it doesn't make her sick."
Me: "Oh it's actually for both of us."
She laughs
Me: "It's so much better than what they served in prison."

Haha! Making friends.