Goodbye Tinder
I closed my Tinder account last night.
Multiple reasons.
Mostly, people knowing the exact km proximity of themselves to me- kiiiinda creepy.
Just going to have to meet lesbians the old fashioned way.... face to face..... in plain ol' real life.
Time to invest in a cheekily subtly coded t-shirt I guess haha...
Multiple reasons.
Mostly, people knowing the exact km proximity of themselves to me- kiiiinda creepy.
Just going to have to meet lesbians the old fashioned way.... face to face..... in plain ol' real life.
Time to invest in a cheekily subtly coded t-shirt I guess haha...
sorry Tinder, our relationship is over.
Hopium, like opium
Meeting strangers:
As I enter the bar I see her.
We make eye contact.
She smiles.
I sit down beside her.
She is exquisitely cool and confident.
As I enter the bar I see her.
We make eye contact.
She smiles.
I sit down beside her.
She is exquisitely cool and confident.
Hopium, like opium.
How Taylor Swift Outed Me As Gay
*Years ago*
-Driving in Los Angeles with my fiance-
Me: Taylor Swift is so beautiful
-I gesture to a massive billboard of her face-
Him: You want to make out with her?
Me: No!
-Driving in Los Angeles with my fiance-
Me: Taylor Swift is so beautiful
-I gesture to a massive billboard of her face-
Him: You want to make out with her?
Me: No!
Yes. Yes I do.
Surprise Party
-at my friend's surprise birthday party-
My friend: Did you know your ex-girlfriend was going to be here?
Me: What?
-I look up-
a wave of shock drops through my body
all my insides are accelerating at different speeds
all my insides are accelerating at different speeds
my stomach is in my lung
bow-chica-bow-meow
Last night I had a dream that I had 5 cats
And I had no idea where they came from
Hopefully cats represent girlfriends and this is a premonition
And I had no idea where they came from
Hopefully cats represent girlfriends and this is a premonition
bow-chica-bow-meow
