Proceed with caution
Proceed with caution
if you see me in the grocery store
with all of the following items in my basket:
1. Chocolate almond milk2. Chocolate bar
3. Chocolate covered chocolate with chocolate on-top
4. Tampons
Chances of survival increase by using the following phrases:
1. You look skinny today!
2. Those sweatpants look awesome!
3. Here, have some wine and Advil!
4. I bought you high heels!
No one is safe.
Falling
Your heart was the cold side of the pillow
on a hot night
I fell for you like this:
Naked And Famous
I find an art show while walking my dog
-via text-
Him: Hey! Whatcha up to?
Me: At an art show!
-I text him a picture of a painting of a naked man's backside-
Him: Hey! How did you get that pic of me?!
-via text-
Him: Hey! Whatcha up to?
Me: At an art show!
-I text him a picture of a painting of a naked man's backside-
Him: Hey! How did you get that pic of me?!
everyone loves a good mullet
HOLY BEST COSTUME EVER!
Ok, maybe not the best EVER, but this is AMAZINGLY AMAZING people.
if you are gay and you say you don't like this you are lying
no, shhhhh
just stop.
everyone loves a good mullet
stupidlesbianquestions.com
*in a hushed voice*
Her: People ask me obscenely inappropriate sex questions all the time when they find out I'm a lesbian. Does that happen to you?!
Me: Haha! Ya
Her: I wanted to start a website called stupidlesbianquestions.com where people would email their questions in and I would be like, "YES!" or (she raises her eyebrows and puts her hand up), "NooOOOooo!"
Her: People ask me obscenely inappropriate sex questions all the time when they find out I'm a lesbian. Does that happen to you?!
Me: Haha! Ya
Her: I wanted to start a website called stupidlesbianquestions.com where people would email their questions in and I would be like, "YES!" or (she raises her eyebrows and puts her hand up), "NooOOOooo!"
as you can see, no one wears the pants
How it is
-being a fashion designer-
Her: How's work going? Haven't talked with you in a while
Me: Good!
Her: Awesome lady! I'm glad!
Me: Even when it's stressful it's like...I draw clothes all day
Her: How's work going? Haven't talked with you in a while
Me: Good!
Her: Awesome lady! I'm glad!
Me: Even when it's stressful it's like...I draw clothes all day
I have the best job in the world.
