Suuuuuuper Brandyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
I will save your kitten!
Let's go!
yEEEEEeeeeaaaaaa sATURDAYS!
Halloween should be biannual.
Halloween should be biannual.
I want to wear this everyday. No one can stop me! No one.
At 3am Super Bettie rolled in. Such a lush!
My Dad
My Dad is a vernacular wizard and has a way of giving genuinely excellent advice in the form of 1 to 4 words and then passing the phone back to whomever I was previously speaking to about my problem.
Most commonly:
1. Life is short
2. You need to relax
3. Next!
4. Let it go
5. Go enjoy your day!
Most commonly:
1. Life is short
2. You need to relax
3. Next!
4. Let it go
5. Go enjoy your day!
We also both share the same uncanny sense of humour.
Which rocks.
98% lesbian
-loud dance music-
Him(shouting over music): So, how gay are you?
Me(shouting): Very gay
Him(shouting): ....like what percentage?
Me(shouting): Like 98%
Him(shouting): ....so you are saying there is a chance!
Him(shouting over music): So, how gay are you?
Me(shouting): Very gay
Him(shouting): ....like what percentage?
Me(shouting): Like 98%
Him(shouting): ....so you are saying there is a chance!
Oh man haha.
This poor guy.
Goodbye Tinder
I closed my Tinder account last night.
Multiple reasons.
Mostly, people knowing the exact km proximity of themselves to me- kiiiinda creepy.
Just going to have to meet lesbians the old fashioned way.... face to face..... in plain ol' real life.
Time to invest in a cheekily subtly coded t-shirt I guess haha...
Multiple reasons.
Mostly, people knowing the exact km proximity of themselves to me- kiiiinda creepy.
Just going to have to meet lesbians the old fashioned way.... face to face..... in plain ol' real life.
Time to invest in a cheekily subtly coded t-shirt I guess haha...
sorry Tinder, our relationship is over.
lesbian wisdom
1. When your significant other doesn't text you back for 5 days they are either
a) Dead
b) Don't want to talk to you
c) All of the above
2. When your SO(significant other) says, "I don't care if you kiss other people. Do whatever you want." They DON'T mean it literally.
2. When you dress up for a lesbian event don't wear a dress. Unless you want to die alone. Or you are Brandy and you refuse to change your dress code to fit into a heteronormative paradym reversal.
Confused about what that means?
Me too.
Stick with the dress. You go girl.
3. Ha! There isn't a #3. Gotcha.
4. Waiting exactly three days to call someone back is lame. You like them? Call them. Or give their number to the homeless guy down the street. Doesn't bother me either way. I never answer my phone.
Ask my Mom.
5. When you are sad go to the gym. Still sad? Go more.
6. REALLY sad? Go to the bar.
7. Can't take it anymore, move provinces!
9. Men's razors. They make that sh** properly. None of this pink razor burn nonsense.
#thingsmybrothertaughtme
10. When you give up on love buy a dog(or 9 kittens). Worked for me. I had a girlfriend exactly 7 days after.
a) Dead
b) Don't want to talk to you
c) All of the above
Buy ice cream.
2. When you dress up for a lesbian event don't wear a dress. Unless you want to die alone. Or you are Brandy and you refuse to change your dress code to fit into a heteronormative paradym reversal.
Confused about what that means?
Me too.
Stick with the dress. You go girl.
3. Ha! There isn't a #3. Gotcha.
4. Waiting exactly three days to call someone back is lame. You like them? Call them. Or give their number to the homeless guy down the street. Doesn't bother me either way. I never answer my phone.
Ask my Mom.
5. When you are sad go to the gym. Still sad? Go more.
6. REALLY sad? Go to the bar.
7. Can't take it anymore, move provinces!
#thingsmybrothertaughtme
10. When you give up on love buy a dog(or 9 kittens). Worked for me. I had a girlfriend exactly 7 days after.
booyeah
Hopium, like opium
Meeting strangers:
As I enter the bar I see her.
We make eye contact.
She smiles.
I sit down beside her.
She is exquisitely cool and confident.
As I enter the bar I see her.
We make eye contact.
She smiles.
I sit down beside her.
She is exquisitely cool and confident.
Hopium, like opium.
