Eat Your Dog
-waiting to cross at a red light with my dog-
*I recognize 2 of the local homeless guys approaching behind me*
Homeless guy #1: Can you spare some change?
Random pedestrian: No, sorry
Homeless guy #2: It's so cold and no one gives a f***!
Homeless guy #1: Hey, can I eat your dog?
*I recognize 2 of the local homeless guys approaching behind me*
Homeless guy #1: Can you spare some change?
Random pedestrian: No, sorry
Homeless guy #2: It's so cold and no one gives a f***!
Homeless guy #1: Hey, can I eat your dog?
Dude, for real I was going to buy you pizza.
But now I'm going to buy pepper spray.
Men In Pantyhose
-Getting ready for the pre-Halloween Halloween party-
*I lean on a wall while he irons his shirt*
*I lean on a wall while he irons his shirt*
Him: So I went into Winners and went up to this girl and was like, " I need some pantyhose" and she just showed me where. No reaction at all!
Me: Haha! Maybe that happens a lot to her?
Anticlimatic Boo Radley moment
Two Lipsticks Are Better Than One
-I gaze out the window at passing cars-
Me: I want to do a trip next month to Montreal!
Him: Don't you want to go somewhere new? You just went there
Me: Ya, but one of my best friends lives there.....aaaand I met someone there....she's amazing...
(I look at him)
-we both smile-
Me: I want to do a trip next month to Montreal!
Him: Don't you want to go somewhere new? You just went there
Me: Ya, but one of my best friends lives there.....aaaand I met someone there....she's amazing...
(I look at him)
-we both smile-
American Lesbian History
*Los Angeles*
-second year of Fashion School at FIDM, American history class-
Professor: Turn to chapter 5 for the civil war and refer to page 2 of your notes......
*his voice blurs out for what is maybe a milisecond, maybe a couple minutes*
She has long flowy hair like Jasmin from Aladdin and tiny beautiful bone structure like a ballet dancer. Once in pattern drafting class she leaned over to me and whispered, "Your hair is so nice, like a cloud!" into my ear. She looked straight into my eyes like she could see my soul and touched it with her left hand.
I'm shot into reality by my friend:
Him: That's not what you want. She's a total Princess. I know her.
-second year of Fashion School at FIDM, American history class-
Professor: Turn to chapter 5 for the civil war and refer to page 2 of your notes......
*his voice blurs out for what is maybe a milisecond, maybe a couple minutes*
She has long flowy hair like Jasmin from Aladdin and tiny beautiful bone structure like a ballet dancer. Once in pattern drafting class she leaned over to me and whispered, "Your hair is so nice, like a cloud!" into my ear. She looked straight into my eyes like she could see my soul and touched it with her left hand.
I'm shot into reality by my friend:
Him: That's not what you want. She's a total Princess. I know her.
Not a princess, she's a goddess.
Dating Barbie
*2 am*
-Halloween party-
Me(dressed as Super Woman): Hey, do you know where the after-party is?
Her (dressed as Barbie): No, sorry
Super Woman: Oh ok, no worries. Thanks
Barbie: I hope you don't mind I was dancing with your boyfriend
Super Woman: Oh he's not my boyfriend. I'm gay
Barbie: Nice!
Super Woman: Do you want to go for a drink sometime?
Barbie: Ya sure!
-Halloween party-
Me(dressed as Super Woman): Hey, do you know where the after-party is?
Her (dressed as Barbie): No, sorry
Super Woman: Oh ok, no worries. Thanks
Barbie: I hope you don't mind I was dancing with your boyfriend
Super Woman: Oh he's not my boyfriend. I'm gay
Barbie: Nice!
Super Woman: Do you want to go for a drink sometime?
Barbie: Ya sure!
and then I did a little happy dance like this:
Justin Timberlake, Dan Bilzerian, and Super Woman go to a party
*pre-Halloween Halloween party*
-Calvin Harris blasting on the stereo as we fly down the freeway-
Me: Love this song!
Justin Timberlake: I am a good dj?
Me: For sure!
The Dan Bilzerian moustache/beard situation in the back seat is too good for words
haha, oh man
haha, oh man
This is officially the song of the night:
high fives all around
awesome night
awesome night
