Enchanted Lesbian Unicorn Band-Aid
On my way to work:
The only band-aid I could find in my apartment.
#lesbianproblems
How Taylor Swift Outed Me As Gay
*Years ago*
-Driving in Los Angeles with my fiance-
Me: Taylor Swift is so beautiful
-I gesture to a massive billboard of her face-
Him: You want to make out with her?
Me: No!
-Driving in Los Angeles with my fiance-
Me: Taylor Swift is so beautiful
-I gesture to a massive billboard of her face-
Him: You want to make out with her?
Me: No!
Yes. Yes I do.
Fun Sexy Time
Him: I still can't believe people get butt implants...seems dangerous to sit on that
Me: It's true! I promise. Google it! You know Nicki Minaj?
-he nods-
Him: Sometimes I wonder what someone would think if they read my Google history. It would be like, "Butt implants, stick-on birth control patch, Nicki Minaj"
Me: They would think you were a chick
Him: Who is about to look really hot and hook up with someone
Me: It's true! I promise. Google it! You know Nicki Minaj?
-he nods-
Him: Sometimes I wonder what someone would think if they read my Google history. It would be like, "Butt implants, stick-on birth control patch, Nicki Minaj"
Me: They would think you were a chick
Him: Who is about to look really hot and hook up with someone
beautiful summertime doldrums
-after first year-
Him: Here
-he reaches down and I grab his hand-
Me: How's your job at the cupcake store going?
-I climb the tree and dangle my Converse sneakers back and forth through the warm air-
Him: Pretty chill, nice break from UBC
-he takes a handful of cereal and hands me the box-
Him: Here
-he reaches down and I grab his hand-
Me: How's your job at the cupcake store going?
-I climb the tree and dangle my Converse sneakers back and forth through the warm air-
Him: Pretty chill, nice break from UBC
-he takes a handful of cereal and hands me the box-
we watch the cars go by in the darkness
the red taillights slowly revealing the left side of his face
we talk about everything
and nothing
the beautiful summertime doldrums
Terrible Vegan
It's probably not natural how much I love pizza.
I was a terrible vegan.
