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When I meow back at cats I always wonder what I'm saying. 

Like tonight I imagine Henry was like, "I'm scared, who are you? I'm under the couch!"

And I meowed back like, "Lipstick! It's Tylenol! Hot spot! Celine Dion Lion!" 

There ARE lesbians in Calgary!

I know for sure. I saw a table of them. 

One had a shirt that said, "Respect the bean." 

I'm not making this stuff up. 

Just had a Kate Upton moment at Clive Burger.

Seriously you guys.

WHY ARE THEIR BURGERS SO GOOD?!

WHY?!

...I may or may not have packed 6 pairs of shoes....

don't judge me!

The last time I was in this airport a total stranger handed me their baby. 

True story. 

I guess I don't give off baby-thief vibes....if it had been a puppy.....

Whaaaaatup Calgary?!

Get ready! 

Here I cooooooome!