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Piece Of My Heart

-the inimitable woman in the high waisted skirt

sings "take another little piece of my heart now baby" in a smokey purr-

Him(wobbly, drunk, thick beard): Youuuur faux name will be.....Beatrice!
Me: No! Beatrice never gets a girlfriend!(I digress)...or a boyfriend
-he turns to my friend-
Him(wide eyed like a cat with a goldfish in it's mouth): She wants a girlfriend!
My friend(casually, without missing a beat): She likes girls.

This has gotten so much easier than it used to be.

Naked With Violin

My friend Will is acting in a theatre show and is in the paper!!!!!

So proud of him!!!!!!!

*high fives all around*

#iwin

I'm pretty sure while my neighbour is away I'm going to screw all his furniture upside down to his ceiling. The ultimate revenge for that one time he hid behind a corner and scared the crap out of me.

#iwin