More glitter, not cowbell
Me: Let's go do something!
Her: I can't have to sleep
Me: Booooo you suck
Her: What did you have in mind?
Me: I wanted to go dancing but all plans have fallen apart. Now snuggling with my dog in yoga pants lol
Her: That sounds pretty win win
Me: You should come over! We can get naked, dance around, and eat pizza! Just kidding. About the pizza part.
Her: I can't have to sleep
Me: Booooo you suck
Her: What did you have in mind?
Me: I wanted to go dancing but all plans have fallen apart. Now snuggling with my dog in yoga pants lol
Her: That sounds pretty win win
Me: You should come over! We can get naked, dance around, and eat pizza! Just kidding. About the pizza part.
basically a smaller version of this
but with more glitter
My lesbian boyfriend
*what happens when you aren't sure who at work knows you are gay and who doesn't*
-I roll the plastic male mannequin across the carpet-
Me(smizing): My boyfriend
-I gesture to the mannequin-
Him: Haha! You have to take his shorts off
Me: Haha, right!
Him: Really
Me: Haha
Him: No, really
Me(I do the head tilty thing):....really?
He does the head tilty thing
-I roll the plastic male mannequin across the carpet-
Me(smizing): My boyfriend
-I gesture to the mannequin-
Him: Haha! You have to take his shorts off
Me: Haha, right!
Him: Really
Me: Haha
Him: No, really
Me(I do the head tilty thing):....really?
He does the head tilty thing
Child Bribery
When I was little and looked like this:
my Mom used to bribe me to not chew my nails by offering to get me a Little Mermaid Barbie.
Now, as a grown ass woman I bribe myself with red wine to wash my hair.
It's very effective!
P.s. It only took me 27 years to figure out how to do my hair. No big deal.
P.s.s. How did I end up with a psychotic afro?! My sister has stick straight hair
Now, as a grown ass woman I bribe myself with red wine to wash my hair.
It's very effective!
P.s. It only took me 27 years to figure out how to do my hair. No big deal.
P.s.s. How did I end up with a psychotic afro?! My sister has stick straight hair
It's not my box.
-Nighttime, in Jamaica-
He takes a sip of rum as the hot breeze dries my salty wet hair.
I play with the sand between my toes wiggling them back and forth.
Him: Can I tell you something?
Me: What's up?
He takes a sip of rum as the hot breeze dries my salty wet hair.
I play with the sand between my toes wiggling them back and forth.
Him: Can I tell you something?
Me: What's up?
-he looks at me-
Him: Your sister told me about your breakup. Sounded really bad.
-I look down at my French manicure-
Him: You keep trying to fit into this box.... dating these guys.... Forget about what people think! You are a free spirit and an artist. Live the life you want to live! Do it your way.
So, I did.
Out There
-laying in bed in the dark texting-
Me: Do you think I'm too "out there"?
Him: No, you should keep writing
Me: It has to be real....or what is the point? Plus, not everyone has a voice to write about being gay. I am lucky to be in a safe-ish environment
Him: That is true
Me: Do you think I'm too "out there"?
Him: No, you should keep writing
Me: It has to be real....or what is the point? Plus, not everyone has a voice to write about being gay. I am lucky to be in a safe-ish environment
Him: That is true
Not A lesbi....
HEY! I'm not a lesbi....
.....did you say something?
