How Taylor Swift Outed Me As Gay
*Years ago*
-Driving in Los Angeles with my fiance-
Me: Taylor Swift is so beautiful
-I gesture to a massive billboard of her face-
Him: You want to make out with her?
Me: No!
-Driving in Los Angeles with my fiance-
Me: Taylor Swift is so beautiful
-I gesture to a massive billboard of her face-
Him: You want to make out with her?
Me: No!
Yes. Yes I do.
Awkward encounters of the lesbian variety
Yesterday I was trapped in an elevator for 2.5 excruciatingly long minutes with the straight man who figured out I'm gay and asked me for lesbian sex advice.
it was
SUPER AWKWARD
If there had been a window I would have done this:
Girlfriends, Karl Lagerfeld's Cat, And Kate Bialowas
-got the below email this morning-
I don't know if she meant this in the queer way or the "Heeeeey girlfriend!" way or in the "I'm just being edgy" way. I have never used the word "date night" in context to a platonic hangout with a girl..... and I really don't think I am the ONLY femme that noticed this fantastical use of brackets! ....what I am really trying to say is....
Kate Bialowas,
we should be friends!
I'm having visions of us frolicking through fashion weeks together, picking out cute skirts in Soho, sharing fat free soy lattes from hipster coffee bars while discussing what Karl Lagerfeld's cat (Choupette) will do next!
I don't know if she meant this in the queer way or the "Heeeeey girlfriend!" way or in the "I'm just being edgy" way. I have never used the word "date night" in context to a platonic hangout with a girl..... and I really don't think I am the ONLY femme that noticed this fantastical use of brackets! ....what I am really trying to say is....
Kate Bialowas,
we should be friends!
I'm having visions of us frolicking through fashion weeks together, picking out cute skirts in Soho, sharing fat free soy lattes from hipster coffee bars while discussing what Karl Lagerfeld's cat (Choupette) will do next!
Let's do it.
Rainbow coffee
4:00pm- sleepy
5:00pm- sleepy
6:00pm- sleepy
7:00pm- falling asleep reading
8:00pm- sleepy
9:00pm- brush my teeth
10:00pm- get in bed
11:00pm- WIDE AWAKE UNTIL 2AM
WHYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE????!?
5:00pm- sleepy
6:00pm- sleepy
7:00pm- falling asleep reading
8:00pm- sleepy
9:00pm- brush my teeth
10:00pm- get in bed
11:00pm- WIDE AWAKE UNTIL 2AM
WHYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEE????!?
Happy Monday guys!
Hope it's bright and delicious and spikes your blood sugar like this beaut rainbow slurpee.
I would have posted a pic of a MASSIVE coffee.
But they don't make rainbow coffee (yet)
One day my rainbow-ellas
.one day.
.one day.
Bed Head
-at work-
Her: Your hair looks nice!
Me: Thanks!!! You should have seen it this morning haha it was like, "SHHWWA!"
-I gesture an upward explosion-
Me: I sent a photo of it to my lesbian penpal!
Her: You have a penpal?!
My guy friend: Too cute!
Me: Oh, she's not actually a "penpal". We met through my blog. We always send each other photos of our crazy morning hair haha!
Her: Your hair looks nice!
Me: Thanks!!! You should have seen it this morning haha it was like, "SHHWWA!"
-I gesture an upward explosion-
Me: I sent a photo of it to my lesbian penpal!
Her: You have a penpal?!
My guy friend: Too cute!
Me: Oh, she's not actually a "penpal". We met through my blog. We always send each other photos of our crazy morning hair haha!
I'm saving them up for a montage.
Get ready guys.
Free Love
Her: I am "straight" but I mean...I have had crushes on girls
-loud music plays in the background-
-I lean against a wall-
Her: I think in the future gender won't even matter...in like 20 years...like...just love whoever you want to love
-loud music plays in the background-
-I lean against a wall-
Her: I think in the future gender won't even matter...in like 20 years...like...just love whoever you want to love
she is the third person to say this to me in the past 2 weeks
