5 things I've learned juicing
Hey! Put down that bronut!
5 THINGS I LEARNED JUICING:
1. Foam= sexy green moustache. I get to look like a lumbersexual?! Say whaaaa?
(sans chest hair)
2. Throwing beet into juicer without a lid= murder scene
3. Apples are the juicing equivalent of cheese. Before I became super allergic to milk(all the swear words) I used to put cheese on anything I cooked that tasted bad. It works like a charm. Gross juice? Add an apple. *boom* Amazing. DONE.
4. It's all about the benjamins celery, apples, beets, cucumbers.
This is how you afford to juice and still buy the boots with the fuuuuurrrrrrrrrrRRRrrrrrr
5. Juicing=HYPER. Most energy I have had after working a full day in AGES. It's nuts. Actually it's fruity......and vege. Ha.
Sigh, I love my juicer.
If it was a person I would kiss it every morning.
Like this:
Brooke Candy lesbianing?
*he dances around the kitchen with my dog*
Me: Haha! Ya Bettie(dog) has aaaaallll the dance moves! Like Brooke Candy!
Him: Who is that?
Me: The rapper? She claims she is a lesbian but there is all this controversy because her lyrics are pretty hetero
-he googles and holds up his phone laughing-
Him: Oh for sure with those nails!
Me: Haha! Ya Bettie(dog) has aaaaallll the dance moves! Like Brooke Candy!
Him: Who is that?
Me: The rapper? She claims she is a lesbian but there is all this controversy because her lyrics are pretty hetero
-he googles and holds up his phone laughing-
Him: Oh for sure with those nails!
Girlfriend material
ahahaha
as you can tell I have always been both super stylish and into rainbows lol.
You know what that bonnet is made of?
Girlfriend material ;)
Walk of shame
*Sunday night eating sushi*
Her: Ya it was so....whoah! That guy isn't wearing any shoes!
-I twist around to see a normal looking guy crossing the street shoeless-
Me: Now THAT is the walk of shame!
Her: Ya it was so....whoah! That guy isn't wearing any shoes!
-I twist around to see a normal looking guy crossing the street shoeless-
Me: Now THAT is the walk of shame!
At least he didn't lose his pants like this girl...
not that I'm complaining.
not that I'm complaining.
PIPES!
Woman at the dog park (yelling at her puppy): Piper! PIPER! Give her the ball back!
Me(in my mind): .......um....I'm sorry my gaydar is going off the charts here.
Her: PIPES!
Me: Ok, seriously?!
Can I have your number?
Butch status
*texting my lesbian friend*
Her: Is your sink fixed?
Me: Working on it....called a plumber
Her: I think the plumber is more lesbian than you
Me: Waaahahaha I lost my butch status before I even got it!
Her: Is your sink fixed?
Me: Working on it....called a plumber
Her: I think the plumber is more lesbian than you
Me: Waaahahaha I lost my butch status before I even got it!
