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*-27 outside*

-an elegant lady in a purple and black fur coat gets into the elevator-

Me: I like your jacket
Her: Thanks! It's teddy bear plush!
Me: Vegan teddybear, I hope.
-she looks confused-
Me: ...not real teddybear fur. Vegan teddybear. No teddybears were killed in it's making?
Her: Haha! You are cute.
-she smiles-
Me: What's your name?

 Despite my general insouciant feelings towards this subject:

what I have to say about Kim Kardashian showing her front and back COMPLETELY nude on the internet:

1. I'm actually totally ok with the nudity.
Women shouldn't be ashamed of their bodies.

2. It's not society's job to tell you what kind of body surgery you should/shouldn't have.
But just so you know Kim, you probably looked great just the way you were born.

3.It could have been classier. Next time get Tim Walker to do your photos ala the Kate Moss "Love Magazine" photos. If you are going to get FULLY naked for the entire world and show them EVERYTHING, make it beautiful. Make it art.

                             Let's ask Obama if he liked the photos:

Dear Santa,

I have been good....pretty good this year. I have not run over any little old ladies, I eat my collard greens(.....is kale a collard green.....what are collard greens?!), and always have protected(ish) sex.
So! Since you are so busy I made this handy shopping list for you (I'm so considerate!)

Need:
1. Someone to clean my shower
2. Expensive shoes....ok fine this isn't a "need"

3. Plane ticket to LA. No, for real. I need this.
Want: 
1. Sexy girlfriend/partner to see 3-4 times a week
2. We will (obviously) need a U-haul booked approximately 4-5 weeks after meeting so we can live together
3. If we could move straight into a home outfitted exactly like Anthroplogie that would be great!
Hope I'm not asking too much. By the way, that beard looks hot on you.
You were so hipster before the hipsters.

muah
Brandy

Her: At my prom the artsy kids made their own tulle dresses and painted them. One girl had a bra top and a poofy skirt thing
Me: Oh the 90's! It's not a prom without a midriff!
Him: Yes it is.
Me: My grad dress is in the trunk of my car.
Him: Hahaha! Why?! Can I see it?
Me: Oh, you will.

-email from my brother last night-

Here is a screenshot of your blog......at EXACTLY 40,000 hits.

Keep writing sister.

A