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Basic butches

-he shakes his head-

Him: I can't believe you are single. Why don't you have a boyfriend?

-I look around awkwardly....I can tell where this is headed-

His wife dances around in her floppy hat

Me:....well......I'm gay

Him: Ahhhhhh ok! I was like, " Something must be wrong!"

Me: Nothing is wrong with me!

Him: You don't look gay

Is this guy for real?!

We come in all types, mmmk?

-5am- Halloween house party

Me(yelling over music and people laughing and chatting): I LOVE your outfit!
Him: I LOVE your outfit!
Me: We should trade!!
Him: Ya!
Me: Ok! Let's go!

And that is how I acquired the following garment:

This is what I left the house in:

Hahaha

Blame It On The night

*walking my dog*

Me: HEY!
Him: Hey Brandy! How's it going?!
-I go to give him a hug but my MASSIVE winter parka is in the way and there is an awkward moment and then the opportunity has passed-
Him: What are you doing tonight for Halloween?
Me: Going to 2 parties. You?
Him: Having a quiet one. I've decided to do "Sober November"
Me: Nice! I've been thinking of doing something like that too
Him: Haha I'm not sure I can make it through the whole month....but I can make it through Nov 1st for sure!

Good thing I only celebrated Halloween 3 nights this year, and not 4.

4 would just be excessive.

re: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/10/suuuuuuper-brandyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.html
and this: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/10/justin-timberlake-dan-bilzerian-and.html
.......and this: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/10/little-miss-sunshine-halloween.html
.....
........
......ok fine!
and this: http://brandymars.blogspot.ca/2014/10/dating-barbie.html

Sex, Pizza, Halloween Shenanigans

Halloween night 11:48pm

*via text to my friend 3 Provinces away*

Me:

Waaaaaa

HHa!
I'm drunk

Him: And sexy

Me:

hmmmmm pizza

Sexy

Pizza sex pizza sex

IAMadude

lol

Him:

You are teasing me now.

Drunk. Wanting sex. Wanting pizza. You are perfect.

Me: Come ear pizza with meeeew!

Little Miss Sunshine (Halloween)

We dressed up.

We wore socks in sandals.

We did a dance to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYHxGBH6o4M

There was a top hat involved.

Today, was a victory.

Proceed with caution

if you see me in the grocery store

with all of the following items in my basket:

1. Chocolate almond milk
2. Chocolate bar
3. Chocolate covered chocolate with chocolate on-top
4. Tampons

Chances of survival increase by using the following phrases:
1. You look skinny today!
2. Those sweatpants look awesome!
3. Here, have some wine and Advil!
4. I bought you high heels!

No one is safe.

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