98% lesbian
-loud dance music-
Him(shouting over music): So, how gay are you?
Me(shouting): Very gay
Him(shouting): ....like what percentage?
Me(shouting): Like 98%
Him(shouting): ....so you are saying there is a chance!
Him(shouting over music): So, how gay are you?
Me(shouting): Very gay
Him(shouting): ....like what percentage?
Me(shouting): Like 98%
Him(shouting): ....so you are saying there is a chance!
Oh man haha.
This poor guy.
Fun Sexy Time
Him: I still can't believe people get butt implants...seems dangerous to sit on that
Me: It's true! I promise. Google it! You know Nicki Minaj?
-he nods-
Him: Sometimes I wonder what someone would think if they read my Google history. It would be like, "Butt implants, stick-on birth control patch, Nicki Minaj"
Me: They would think you were a chick
Him: Who is about to look really hot and hook up with someone
Me: It's true! I promise. Google it! You know Nicki Minaj?
-he nods-
Him: Sometimes I wonder what someone would think if they read my Google history. It would be like, "Butt implants, stick-on birth control patch, Nicki Minaj"
Me: They would think you were a chick
Him: Who is about to look really hot and hook up with someone
Delightfully Strange
Her(disapproving): You are weird.
Me(enthusiastic): No, I'm delightfully strange!
Me(enthusiastic): No, I'm delightfully strange!
At first I was offended and sad.
But then I realized
I have a f***ing blast about 85% of the time haha
I have a f***ing blast about 85% of the time haha
It turns out a synonym for eccentric is queer actually.
Found that lucky charm in the rainbow isle of Google;)
Next to some plaid shirts.
we are born free
-phone rings-
Me: Hey!
My Mom: Hey! What are you up to?
Me: Just got out of the shower
My Mom: Haha did you know were you were really little after a bath you would always strut through the living room naked and go, "Like my outfit!?"
Me: Haha!
Me: Hey!
My Mom: Hey! What are you up to?
Me: Just got out of the shower
My Mom: Haha did you know were you were really little after a bath you would always strut through the living room naked and go, "Like my outfit!?"
Me: Haha!
we are born free
Ice Skating PUA
-I lean on the door frame-
Me: We should go ice skating this winter
Him: I was learning to skate but I never learned how to stop properly
Me: Me too!
Him: The instructor was incredibly beautiful so I would just run into her instead
Me: Haha! That's actually pretty genius
Me: We should go ice skating this winter
Him: I was learning to skate but I never learned how to stop properly
Me: Me too!
Him: The instructor was incredibly beautiful so I would just run into her instead
Me: Haha! That's actually pretty genius
