Bed Head
-at work-
Her: Your hair looks nice!
Me: Thanks!!! You should have seen it this morning haha it was like, "SHHWWA!"
-I gesture an upward explosion-
Me: I sent a photo of it to my lesbian penpal!
Her: You have a penpal?!
My guy friend: Too cute!
Me: Oh, she's not actually a "penpal". We met through my blog. We always send each other photos of our crazy morning hair haha!
Her: Your hair looks nice!
Me: Thanks!!! You should have seen it this morning haha it was like, "SHHWWA!"
-I gesture an upward explosion-
Me: I sent a photo of it to my lesbian penpal!
Her: You have a penpal?!
My guy friend: Too cute!
Me: Oh, she's not actually a "penpal". We met through my blog. We always send each other photos of our crazy morning hair haha!
I'm saving them up for a montage.
Get ready guys.
She-Nannigans
-on the phone-
Her: Haha so how much of your blog is reality and how much is made up? You didn't really cook a turkey with the bag inside did you?
Me: It's all true
how (not) to cook a turkey
-last year-
Tuesday night. 6pm.
I buy a 16lb turkey for $10. How can this go wrong? ...right?
I happily throw the turkey in the oven.
I think, turkey is just like chicken. No probs guys. I have this.
A few hours later I decide to read the tag-which says, "Please be sure to remove the bag from inside the bird before placing it in the oven."
...bag inside the bird....inside....INSIDE??!?.....what bag?! What is IN said bag? What is said bag made of?! Noooooooo!!!!!
-phone sandwiched between my ear and shoulder while turkey fat and juice and all-together-bad-fleshy-things spray everywhere-turkey in the sink-turkey hot-turkey frozen-turkey bones cracking-turkey looks like tiny infant-where is the bag of mystery parts???!? Wheerrrrrreeeeeee
I am traumatized.
I never recover.
My Big Fat Lesbian Wedding
So, my lesbian Penpal proposed on Skype tonight.
Want to see the ring???
Yeah you do!
Hahaha how could I say no to this beaut?
Want to see the ring???
Yeah you do!
Hahaha how could I say no to this beaut?
Lesbian-free Canadiana
No matches for 20 minutes.
It's official.
There are no lesbians in Canada.
no pants (are the best pants)
dancing around my loft apartment eating salad pant-less
(my second favourite hobby next to napping like an old man)
suddenly realize nearby neighbour across from me on their balcony
*awkward wave*
(my second favourite hobby next to napping like an old man)
suddenly realize nearby neighbour across from me on their balcony
*awkward wave*
