walking on thin ice
-years ago-
we walk across the lake
the ice is black and angry like smashed marbles
he passes to me and I deeply inhale
the bitter wind scorns my cheeks.
all my sins and all my good deeds melt together
I look down and it has not burnt a hole through the ice
I look down where the baby we lost should be
I look up and
finally
start to imagine where I could go
we walk across the lake
the ice is black and angry like smashed marbles
he passes to me and I deeply inhale
the bitter wind scorns my cheeks.
all my sins and all my good deeds melt together
I look down and it has not burnt a hole through the ice
I look down where the baby we lost should be
I look up and
finally
start to imagine where I could go
Comfort, not speed
-last night-
Her: I was looking at your Instagram and I wanted to tell you at work but didn't know if it was appropriate
(I have no idea where this is going)
Her: You have the best boobs ever!
Me: Thanks! They are built for comfort, not speed!
Her: I was looking at your Instagram and I wanted to tell you at work but didn't know if it was appropriate
(I have no idea where this is going)
Her: You have the best boobs ever!
Me: Thanks! They are built for comfort, not speed!
in the words of Howlin Wolf.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlBqo8Pco_A
some folks built like dis, some folks built like dat haha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlBqo8Pco_A
some folks built like dis, some folks built like dat haha
Going deaf
Dr: So, has anyone ever mentioned that you might have hearing problems?
Me: Ya, my ex-boyfriend was like, "You need to get your hearing checked! You are going deaf!" But instead I broke up with him.
Problem solved.
My last secret
When I pop the hood and pour window washer fluid into my little red car
I pretend I am Megan Fox in Transformers
fixing the engine
like a bad-ass
you now know all my secrets
Gay for the stay
Me: Whoah, that's crazy you are a correctional officer! Do you watch Orange Is The New Black???
Her: YES!
Me: Is it really like that?
Her: Ohhhyaa they are all gay for the stay
Her: YES!
Me: Is it really like that?
Her: Ohhhyaa they are all gay for the stay
Feminism Vs Misandry
-driving-
Him(gay): I can't relate to lesbian movies
Me(hetero, HA just kidding): What about gay movies? Did you see Broke Back Mountain?
Him: I just saw the sex scene like 15 times!
Me: What?? Why?!
Him: My friend kept playing it over and over to bother me
Me: Haha
Him: A lot of lesbian movies have characters that hate men
-I pensively chew on the inner side of my right cheek for a second-
Me: I don't hate men. I just don't want to date them.... I also like pink though so....
Him: Haha if you made a movie about your life I would watch it
My exact expression when people think feminism and misandry are the same thing:
