You go girl
Patricia Arquette just got REAL at the Oscars
Andrea Gibson, future wife
When I took Bettie to the dog park after work there was this beautiful purple smoke in the air....
it was coming from some kind of industrial plant
it was coming from some kind of industrial plant
reminded me of this poem by Andrea Gibson (aka my future wife)
I know she's engaged and stuff....or maybe she is married now....haven't Google stalked her in a while haha
Anyways,
Anyways,
this is the poem.
I heart her.
Meninism
Him: I think we need meninism
Me: ?
Him: Men don't know how to act anymore. Even opening a door for a woman can be seen as offensive. I like opening doors.
Me: I like chivalry
Him: Men have become obsolete. Women make as much money as men and can just go to a sperm bank now to have kids....(somber)we aren't needed
Me: Men aren't obsolete....your roles have just changed.
Him: I would love being a stay at home Dad....cook....clean....eat Fruitloops in my underwear and take care of kids.
Me: ?
Him: Men don't know how to act anymore. Even opening a door for a woman can be seen as offensive. I like opening doors.
Me: I like chivalry
Him: Men have become obsolete. Women make as much money as men and can just go to a sperm bank now to have kids....(somber)we aren't needed
Me: Men aren't obsolete....your roles have just changed.
Him: I would love being a stay at home Dad....cook....clean....eat Fruitloops in my underwear and take care of kids.
Back in the day we needed men to open pickle jars and reach tall things...
Now we have her:
Human Target
Foreword: It drives me CRAZY when people begin a story by saying, "I changed the person's name for their privacy and protection" which is why I always just use pronouns. It's just a pet peeve of mine. I don't need to know you changed the name. JUST TELL THE DAMN STORY ALREADY.
But I am going to do that for the first time ever on my blog. Because I can't tell this story properly without using a name. *shakes fist at sky*
Dan: Sup
Me: Yo!
Dan: What's new there with yo bad self?
Me: Work, bike, make love, eat cereal, put on sparkley earrings, walk dog, flirt with cute girl, draw some clothes. Repeat, in no particular order.
Dan: So same old same old?
Me: Haha basically. You are still alive! Well done!! High fives*
Dan: Ya I'm pretty awesome at that
Before he left I made him a screen printed t-shirt for his trip that said, "I'm not Dan" on the front.
It's like an invisible cloak. But with better air circulation.
Dear Nurse
Dear Nurse at the Women's Health Clinic who noticed me cracking a smile when she turned the screen away from me as she was taking down notes:
I was imagining you in a really bad mood doing your job and just typing,
"SLUT SLUT SLUT STUTITY SLUT SLUT SLUT SLUT"
into people's files and how satisfying that would feel for you.
Taking care of business
*I sit on the crinkly white paper, there is a poster of a whale leaping out of the sea on the roof, a life size structure of the female anatomy on a shelf
Dr(looks up from keyboard): Do you drink?
Me: On Saturdays.
Dr(looks up from keyboard): Do you drink?
Me: On Saturdays.
*clickity click click*
Dr: Do you have tattoos or piercings?
-I make head gestures-
*clickity click click*
Dr: Do you smoke crack or share your toothbrush with your significant other?
those two things can be categorized together?!
