Free falling
I believe in:
instant connections
laying in bed together for 20 hours
talking about making cereal
but spooning instead
always wanting the best for you
always being honest
looking you right in the eye
and free falling
you busted into my heart like this:
No means no
*just met this guy
Him: You have wrinkled hands! They are worse than mine!
Me: Oh, ya they are dry from winter.
Him: No, I meant your knuckles
Me: .....they are knuckles....
(I'm pretty sure he was doing that thing where you insult a girl to make them feel insecure and then you hit on them)
-I turn around and leave-
*6 hours later
-he stumbles up to me while I'm chatting with someone-
Him(suggestive eyebrows): Want to go upstairs with me?
Me: No.
-I return to my conversation-
-he half turns away and then comes back again-
Him(his tacky gold chain swings around his neck): Are you sure?
Him: You have wrinkled hands! They are worse than mine!
Me: Oh, ya they are dry from winter.
Him: No, I meant your knuckles
Me: .....they are knuckles....
(I'm pretty sure he was doing that thing where you insult a girl to make them feel insecure and then you hit on them)
-I turn around and leave-
*6 hours later
-he stumbles up to me while I'm chatting with someone-
Him(suggestive eyebrows): Want to go upstairs with me?
Me: No.
-I return to my conversation-
-he half turns away and then comes back again-
Him(his tacky gold chain swings around his neck): Are you sure?
Dude.
I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
I've never been more sure of anything in my life.
Her world
*her-absolutely gorgeous, the kind of woman who causes cyclists to crash into poles
She sprays perfume on me
Her: It's Taylor Swift
Me: Haha! No wonder I like it so much!
Her: I want to rock her world.
Me: Umm, what?
Her: I would rock her world.
Fifty Shades Of Rainbow
fifty shades of grey rainbow
there are the party lesbians
(aka the "I only do this drunk" lesbian)
the "I look gay even in a dress!" lesbians
the lipstick lesbians
the "leather" lesbians
lesbians who sometimes make out with men
lesbians who think they are men
lesbians who go by "boi"
lesbians who have boys
femme lesbians
lesbians who go by "they"
political lesbians
"the queers", because labels suck.
free spirited lesbians
power lesbians
butch lesbians
stud lesbians
lesbians who wear dresses
the "dress up bow-tie wearing" lesbian
chapstick lesbians
the "stick to you on the first date" lesbians
the tattoo lesbians
baby lesbians
the "hasbian"
the has been thinking about coming out lesbian
the closet case
the case of beer lesbian
the "adventure college phase" lesbian
the gayelle
the supermodel lesbians
the super femme
the stem lesbian
the vegan lesbians
the cat-loving lesbians
lesbians who only like dogs
the retro vintage lesbians
the "what are high heels?" lesbians
curling lesbians
the hockey lesbians
u-haul lesbians
the "you kill the spider!" lesbians
the pillow princess lesbian
the pansexual
the bisexual
the "I will buy you roses" lesbians
the "I buy men's deodorant!" lesbians
the "transitioning" lesbian
lesbians who don't shave their legs
lesbians who shave everything
lesbians who will tell you all about it!
house party
Me: That's awesome you write too!
Him: What do you write about?
Me: Oh just random funny stuff from real life
Him: Like what?
Me: Ok for example, (I gesture) right behind you someone is giving someone else a pant-less piggyback ride to the hot tub through the foggy dance floor past the DJ while someone follows them around trying to cover them up
-he turns around and bursts out laughing-
Him: What do you write about?
Me: Oh just random funny stuff from real life
Him: Like what?
Me: Ok for example, (I gesture) right behind you someone is giving someone else a pant-less piggyback ride to the hot tub through the foggy dance floor past the DJ while someone follows them around trying to cover them up
-he turns around and bursts out laughing-
In the family
-I look at my phone and start laughing-
Me: My Mom just texted me and was like, "You have bangs! Looks Nice! Workin your way around your head, only two sides to go!"
Her: Haha! Your Mom has a good sense of humour!
Me: My Mom just texted me and was like, "You have bangs! Looks Nice! Workin your way around your head, only two sides to go!"
Her: Haha! Your Mom has a good sense of humour!
ohhhhh hahaha you have no idea
and you should meet my Dad!
Sometimes he calls me just to tell me something obscenely inappropriate and hilarious that he just saw/heard.
The funniest part of which, is the fact that his immediate reaction is, "I have to call my daughter and tell her!"
