Gay Unicorn Glitter Dance Party
Me: Are you going to the Gay Unicorn Glitter Dance party?
Her: Well I just saw that I'm in the DJ lineup! So I guess so! Haha. You?
Me: Haha! Ya I'm going with the girl I'm dating
Her: Awesome! Will you be dressed as unicorns?
Me: F*** yeah
Her: Lol!
Her: Well I just saw that I'm in the DJ lineup! So I guess so! Haha. You?
Me: Haha! Ya I'm going with the girl I'm dating
Her: Awesome! Will you be dressed as unicorns?
Me: F*** yeah
Her: Lol!
I do not miss a chance to wear an animal costume in public
Facepalm
after recovering from having the official 2015 death flu of pure evil for 2 WHOLE ENTIRE WEEKS and going to work and sleeping and not seeing cute girl I'm dating because I didn't want to get her sick now I am finally feel better and she feels sick
damn the fates!
-throws self dramatically into pillows-
Rhinestone Braille
So I saw underwear in the mall that had the words, "Single and sexy" spelled out in rhinestones across the front like rhinestone braille for clubbing
It seems redundant to write the word sexy on your underwear. I mean, the person is already naked-ish with you and hasn't run away so ummm....they obviously already know you are sexy
Pitbull attack
So a pitbull attacked Bettie(my dog) in the elevator. He almost bit my crotch! It was terrifying
some bi***es be crazy
Bonjovi doppelganger
I don't always wake up looking like Bonjovi.
But when I do it looks like this.
She's a lady!
He sits on my couch.
I sit on on the ottoman.
Bettie (my dog) lays on the living room floor on her back, legs sprawled, begging for belly rubs.
Him: That's not very subtle
Me: Haha I know. My old roommate taught her to lay like that when she would say, "What do girls do for diamonds?!"
Him: Haha!
Me: I was like, "Hey! She's a lady!"
I sit on on the ottoman.
Bettie (my dog) lays on the living room floor on her back, legs sprawled, begging for belly rubs.
Him: That's not very subtle
Me: Haha I know. My old roommate taught her to lay like that when she would say, "What do girls do for diamonds?!"
Him: Haha!
Me: I was like, "Hey! She's a lady!"
