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Top 7 Awkward Lesbian Questions I Get Asked

1. How do you have sex?
Like this, kids.
be safe
2. Can I watch?
No.
 3. *The ex-boyfriend question* Did I turn you gay?
ahaahahahahahahahaaaaaaa.
Maybe.
(I'm jooooking, only Shane Mccutcheon can do that)
 4. Who is the man?

...maybe that guy over there in the scarf is the man? Or Brad Pitt....he seems like he's a man.....
haha the only thing I'm 100% certain of is that neither of us are men
5. You don't look like a lesbian.
.....and I mistook you for a gentle-hombre.
6. Why do lesbians love cats?
I actually know lots of lesbians who love dogs.
Lots. 
7. Are you hitting on me?
Are you a lesbian? 
Are you hot? 
Then yes, it's possible.

meet the parents

Me: Soooo it's not a u-haul buuuuuut on our fourth date you get to meet my entire family. We are sooooo gay haha!
Her: Hahaha so gay.
Me: Thanks for booking the flights babe. I can't wait to see you again
Her: I figured most lesbians take trips together on thier fourth or fifth date haha

what's cooking

Her: What's your baking specialty?
Me: I like making cookies
Her: That's weird I like eating cookies...haha
Me: That's convenient! ....maybe we should date
Her: Probably should, it only makes sense

pissing off conservatives 101

*walking down a crowded street holding her hand*

Her: We are like a walking poster for diversity
Me: Hmm?
Her: In front of us is a biracial couple and (gesturing to us) then there are two lesbians
Me: Haha! I like it.

Andrea Gibson slam poetry LIVE!

Whatever the maximum excitement one can feel about seeing a live show, that's what I'm experiencing! AH!

just between us

* iced coffee with my GBF*

Me(playful shifty eyes): sooooooo......I have been seeing someone
Him: Oooo!
Me: I've kept it kind of secret haha
Him: You have!
Me(shy smile): .....she's....amazing
Him(excited): It's happening!