Louboutin Mafia
Her: High heels are oppressive.
Me: ...have you ever worn heels?
Her: No.
High heels do things to me.
When I see them my heart rate increases.
My basal temperature rises.
I cross a store like a zombie seeing a limping lamb.
When I put them on I can fight crime and save kittens.
Don't buy me roses.
Buy me Louboutin's, baby.
Me: ...have you ever worn heels?
Her: No.
High heels do things to me.
When I see them my heart rate increases.
My basal temperature rises.
I cross a store like a zombie seeing a limping lamb.
When I put them on I can fight crime and save kittens.
Don't buy me roses.
Buy me Louboutin's, baby.
Pastiche, not pistachio
You and I: the perfect parody of broken people colliding in the dark feeling each other's faces for a clue.
Me: You are a pastiche of my loves
Her(bad hearing): Yes! They ARE salty!
The season of light hearted banter and confusion.
Some things you can not change.
Shhhhhhhhhh
Stuff no one wants to hear about on a date:
1. Your ex.
Seriously stop. No. No! Shhhhhhh
2. Your diet/dietary restrictions/ allergies/ mono-diet-only-eat -plants-from-the-moon yada yada yada
3. Your cat/dog.
Sorry, no one gives a damn about Whiskers. I actually used to use this to get rid of men like 3 years ago. The proof, is in the pudding.
Lesbian penpal
So, I have a lesbian penpal.
Remember when you used to do that? And use actual stamps?
Well, we send each other videos of our dogs and stuff.
We met through my blog a few months ago.
Once she sent me videos from her closet where she was building Ikea furniture for her roommate haha
And she paints/does art so she shows me what she is working on.
I once helped her choose a duvet cover.
Now that I am typing this I notice I probably talk with her the most other than non-related people.
haha
It's awesome.
Can't wait to meet her in LA soon!
Kissing mermaids
I let her in and kick off my flip flops
Her: Wow your hair is so curly
Me: I was dancing in the rain
She kisses me
Her: You look like a mermaid
Her: Wow your hair is so curly
Me: I was dancing in the rain
She kisses me
Her: You look like a mermaid
8:23am
Monday: 8:23am
Just enough time to drive to work(7 minutes)
keys-yes
apple-yes
phone-yes
I push the door open and sunlight burns my not-nearly-caffeinated-enough retinas.
car
Um. where is my car. WHERE is my car?!?!
Just enough time to drive to work(7 minutes)
keys-yes
apple-yes
phone-yes
I push the door open and sunlight burns my not-nearly-caffeinated-enough retinas.
car
Um. where is my car. WHERE is my car?!?!
